Reflections on editorial on ST Sunday, 17th Jan 2010

"Happiness is a warm gun, John Lennon sang in one of the Beatles' songs. He was referring to a heroin-filled syringe. But the drug did not make him any happier, except for the duration of each fix. By all accounts, Lennon was an unhappy man, perhaps until his last years. But critics generally agreed that Lennon was more creative and edgier than his song-writing partner Paul McCartney, who is blessed with a sunnier disposition.

Like Lennon, many of the world's great performing artists had been miserable folk. They had their personal demons to fight, and the struggle was often what drove them to create enduring works of art. This is not to say that people who are generally not unhappy cannot produce great art works. But their numbers are probably smaller. This begs the question: What is the nature of happiness and isn't some dissatisfaction a good thing?

A recent survey by the National University of Singapore Business School found that Singaporeans who have university degrees or earn $5000 or more a month are the happiest. Yet they are dissatisfied with their lot and enjoy life the least, compared to those who make less.

Their dissatisfaction could stem from their higher, unfulfilled expectations. But if discontent is not crippling, it may be what would drive them to achieve more. It is said that contentment is happiness, but it is a then line that separates contentment from complacency. When complacent, one tends to spiral downwards. There can be no happiness there.

When they say they don't enjoy life enough, many higher-earning Singaporeans probably relate "enjoyment" to fine food, fancy cars and luxurious homes. But there is only so much one can enjoy of these things. One enjoys life fully only when one is purposefully engaged, and is passionate about the things one does. Happiness comes as a fleeting by-product. Recognise that and one can be a more fulfilled person." from ST Sunday, 17/01/10

Indeed, "One enjoys life fully only when one is purposefully engaged, and is passionate about the things one does. Happiness comes as a fleeting by-product. Recognise that and one can be a more fulfilled person."

Happiness is a choice. There are those who are wealthy and well, yet unhappy. And there are those who are not so materially-wealthy, but because they are placed priority above material things, they are wealthy too, in relationships, in fulfillment from doing something well, etc.

I think happiness comes from a certain satisfaction. And when the satisfaction comes from fulfilling a priority in one's life, you get happiness.

So when you choose to place material fulfillment as a top priority... and you don't get it... misery results. And in Singapore, where a certain amount of consumption of material goods is seen as "success", it is hard to go against it to say that it is NOT IMPORTANT at all... thus the results of the survey would be skewed - people who seemingly have a lot but are dissatisfied in life... cos too many times... we've been grilled that TO BE SUCCESSFUL means to be able to have this and have that.

I don't think material fulfillment should be at the top. There are too many other things important to me in life that would be sacrificed. And that doesn't mean I don't work hard... but I'm choosing to work at the things that matter to me. I wouldn't want to be dined at a top restaurant and be bored to death by my company... give me my loved ones at the kopitiam anytime. It's nice to be driven around and given fancy grub, but nothing beats being with yr loved one, even when it means walking and taking public transport. (Btw, it helps my heart... I think I'd live longer walking anyway. Oh, and don't mistake that for sour grapes... when I should get my own set of wheels, I will. When they are relatively less expensive. Haha.) And I'm not against material things, it's just that they aren't that important to justify sacrificing peace of mind and state of well-being.

And Daddy above is going to meet over and above my needs. So why fret? :)

But, that also doesn't mean to be complacent or easily placated... or to simply let go of the things that matter to us when the going gets tough. That, is cowardice. Being a wuss. And for people who put material fulfillment as most important, THAT is also a choice.

So, choose well... happiness IS a choice.

Or perhaps one can see it as a journey while getting there... and not a destination. Maybe they'd not be so dissatisfied. Perhaps it's cos when they achieved what they thought they wanted... and 'happiness' isn't there. Maybe cos 'happiness' has suddenly shifted the finishing line... and what they thought would bring them happiness actually doesn't/couldn't. So they set another new finishing line... and so on... becoming even more dissatisfied in the process.

So, BE HAPPY. And satisfied. Regardless. We are all sojourners.

We aren't going to be here for an eternity. So, look for the eternal and contribute to the eternal. And BE HAPPY while doing it.