I am not ready.

Fight. With my will.

It's useless. Futile effort furiously, emptying...

Priorities. God. Car. Body-building. Studies. Me. Future. Stocks. Friends. Family. etc.
Are you losing some things cos spent too much time or effort or money on certain things? Not to be penny-wise, and pound-foolish.


There are so many things I think I want to do... but either you are not interested or you just don't have the time... am I being selfish...? I know i can be stubborn and selfish too.

Haven't went chiong-ing, went movie, steamboat... in-line skating... go gym, go overseas (short trip), go shopping -- see you try on clothes, shop for food, etc. Is there a day to meet... or is it always last min?

I agree very much with you -- that as a pair -- there is a certain power. Sometimes as one... it really seems so difficult to sustain life's happiness, sorrows, problems, friends, conversations... life going forward -- together, end in mind (yet protecting each other's heart), not to advance more than the other party is ready to.

admire very much tt u want to do business.

YOu have a very kind soul actually -- can see it thru your eyes -- might be tough and show-offy... but seldom I meet ppl with the kindness... it shines thru, actually. u don't have an ulterior motive when u do things. u are who u are. guess I'm quite like tt as well. I hate ppl to play politics with me. IRRITATES THE HELL OUT OF ME.

Thanks for showing my friends, P, and the rest, my parents the respect as well. Sorry I haven't been a good example... when I get pissed off at home, cos I don't like it when my parents don't show respect to my friends.

At that time when u said your dad asked u to move out, when u asked if u could come stay with me. sorry tt I sort of encouraged to. not right of me.

Critical -- fat -- I don't even know how to become thin... you said you don't mind, but you keep talking abt it... I know you can easily find someone who's prettier, younger, don't want you to feel you are settling for something. YOu think I don't want to be thin meh? But still don't think it's right to expose myself so to get attn even if I am.

Can't eat this, can't wear that. :(

I love you for your kindness, your dislike towards men who beat women. your straightforward attitude. I LOVE your talent in music -- use it well. It's amazing. Use your mind well. something i could do together with you -- go watch AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. was thinking of you when I watched the show. I tell you when I go out with someone cos I don't want you or your friends who see me carry tales to you.

We become the people we hang out most with...

You don't like my words, and philosophy -- > but it's guiding principle.

I worry like hell for you... cos I know you now at a stage where you can't afford to lose -- can't afford to have another accident, another loss, etc. ANd I don't want you to lose those or be angry, upset or pissed.

I thank God for bringing you into yr sch's cell, even the articles which you have been writing -- let me know when it's published...

Very encouraged with the article that you wrote -- that you stand, believe for something... I haven't read it yet. Don't know if I do agree with it... or not.

I pray that the Lord will guide your path and may His Angels watch over you. I think He is coming very soon... like you said. I wish I know the bible better... to share more with you. It's the end times.

Your words matter a lot to me... and I kinda have to shut myself when you say shut up, or bullshit -- i might look tough, but am really vulnerable inside. Next time I shld probably ban shouting or screaming in my home. No like ppl screaming at me. Or hollering... thinking they know better.

I like emails and msn, or even messages jus to drop a note I miss you... ... cos I guess I still find difficult to express myself -- it's a different persona I have when I'm with a big group of ppl.

I'm not complete yet -- feel like I'm shortchanging you too.

Love that you love cars -- I really don't mind washing cars... nor covering.

Encouraged by your sch results... so nice. so hopeful. :)

Grateful to you for being faithful, for telling me things, sharing your thots, being able to be totally myself -- as disgusting as I can be.

God knows I love you.

And to fulfill my promise -- the translation to
FLY AWAY BY FISH LEONG 梁靜茹

這一次　是我自己為自己下的決定
This time, it's a decision I made myself
很小心　你說慢慢來別怕來不及
Very carefully -- you said it's ok, take it slow
如果我　還有一點點不安或者遲疑
If I had been slightly unsure or hesitant,
我不會　對你的反應那麼好奇
I won't be so responsive to you...

落葉啊　其實也很不願意
Fallen leaves, don't wish to fall
其實也不想回憶　誰沒等到錯過了流星
In fact, we don't want to reminisce -- but haven't some of us waited till we've missed the
shooting star?
我們啊　交集在這意外的假期
We met during this incidental break
一定哪裡見過你　一定曾經夢見你
We must have met, or dreamt of each other before...

＊Fly Away　無窮無盡是你深邃的眼睛
Fly away, with your soulful eyes...
　看著你　就可以讓我茫茫人海裡感到安定
Looking at you, I can be consoled
　Fly Away　當我不顧一切無止境追尋
Fly away, when I'm relentless in my pursuit
　有一個人　有一顆心
There is one person, with one heart
　早已經默默之中在那裡＊
who's already quietly waiting...

這一次　問我自己都說我毫不懷疑
This time, I'm asking myself if I have any doubts
愛上你　終於我發現我還有勇氣
Loving you, I find that I do have the courage
唯一我　覺得遺憾的是我不夠仔細
The only regret I have is that I didn't listen enough
不瞭解　你說那一些話的用意
and didn't understand what you were trying to tell me.

幾乎是所有時間在想你
I spent almost all my time thinking of you
快樂之後是壓抑　有沒有過這樣的呼吸
I had to suppress myself after having felt that happiness -- have you lived like this before
幸福啊　只要一個眼神的交集
And joy, comes with simply a look we share
我們擁抱著刺激　我們渴望著相遇
We're breathless with anticipation, and we look forward to meeting again

REPEAT＊＊

Fly Away　當我不顧一切無止境追尋
Fly away, when I'm relentless in my pursuit
是你的人　是你的心
There's you, with your love
日日夜夜陪我在這裡
accompanying me through the days