What is life?

2010-01-25T20:35:00.002+08:00

"She looked down at her plate, at creamy globules of curry gravy, and knew that her life from then onwards would be a lie, that her belief that love could knife through the barriers of pride and ambition that isolated each and every human being was delusion and that the individual's grasping need for respect would keep her erecting these fragile edifices of pretence. She would work hard, smile at her mother, humour her colleagues and laugh with friends, but grow rich and old alone unless she met a man she could accommodate as easily as her mother did her father, someone with whom to share living costs and a child, someone of whom she would have no illusions that he could ease the burden of her loneliness."
"

From "Evening Under Frangipani", by Philip Jeyaretnam, from the book "First Loves".
Winner of the First Prize in the 1985 Singapore National Short Story Writing competition

What insight... but steeped in hopelessness.

What an insipid, uninspiring life to live... a life which many might have already succumbed.

The unexamined life is not worth living~
Socrates

Chasing Twisters

2010-01-25T00:32:00.000+08:00

Chasing Twisters
As if the unpredictability
Defines you
Sometimes there
Sometimes not
Not by choice
Not my choice

Pining as the heart grows faint
Suffering from withdrawal
Why don't you choose regularity
Isn't that quaint
Wouldn't that be nice
Wouldn't that make you fit into the system
Just like everyone else
Can't you just conform
But I'll be bored, unfulfilled, left for dead, says I (or am I deader now?)
Can't I choose
This, I like
Where I will do my utmost, best

The more freedom you have
The more disciplined you actually have to be

Someday I will chase a Twister
Like I'm chasing one now.
For in the eye of a Twister
There is Peace

~ Esther Sophia Tan

Reflections on editorial on ST Sunday, 17th Jan 2010

2010-01-17T15:05:00.001+08:00

"Happiness is a warm gun, John Lennon sang in one of the Beatles' songs. He was referring to a heroin-filled syringe. But the drug did not make him any happier, except for the duration of each fix. By all accounts, Lennon was an unhappy man, perhaps until his last years. But critics generally agreed that Lennon was more creative and edgier than his song-writing partner Paul McCartney, who is blessed with a sunnier disposition.

Like Lennon, many of the world's great performing artists had been miserable folk. They had their personal demons to fight, and the struggle was often what drove them to create enduring works of art. This is not to say that people who are generally not unhappy cannot produce great art works. But their numbers are probably smaller. This begs the question: What is the nature of happiness and isn't some dissatisfaction a good thing?

A recent survey by the National University of Singapore Business School found that Singaporeans who have university degrees or earn $5000 or more a month are the happiest. Yet they are dissatisfied with their lot and enjoy life the least, compared to those who make less.

Their dissatisfaction could stem from their higher, unfulfilled expectations. But if discontent is not crippling, it may be what would drive them to achieve more. It is said that contentment is happiness, but it is a then line that separates contentment from complacency. When complacent, one tends to spiral downwards. There can be no happiness there.

When they say they don't enjoy life enough, many higher-earning Singaporeans probably relate "enjoyment" to fine food, fancy cars and luxurious homes. But there is only so much one can enjoy of these things. One enjoys life fully only when one is purposefully engaged, and is passionate about the things one does. Happiness comes as a fleeting by-product. Recognise that and one can be a more fulfilled person." from ST Sunday, 17/01/10

Indeed, "One enjoys life fully only when one is purposefully engaged, and is passionate about the things one does. Happiness comes as a fleeting by-product. Recognise that and one can be a more fulfilled person."

Happiness is a choice. There are those who are wealthy and well, yet unhappy. And there are those who are not so materially-wealthy, but because they are placed priority above material things, they are wealthy too, in relationships, in fulfillment from doing something well, etc.

I think happiness comes from a certain satisfaction. And when the satisfaction comes from fulfilling a priority in one's life, you get happiness.

So when you choose to place material fulfillment as a top priority... and you don't get it... misery results. And in Singapore, where a certain amount of consumption of material goods is seen as "success", it is hard to go against it to say that it is NOT IMPORTANT at all... thus the results of the survey would be skewed - people who seemingly have a lot but are dissatisfied in life... cos too many times... we've been grilled that TO BE SUCCESSFUL means to be able to have this and have that.

I don't think material fulfillment should be at the top. There are too many other things important to me in life that would be sacrificed. And that doesn't mean I don't work hard... but I'm choosing to work at the things that matter to me. I wouldn't want to be dined at a top restaurant and be bored to death by my company... give me my loved ones at the kopitiam anytime. It's nice to be driven around and given fancy grub, but nothing beats being with yr loved one, even when it means walking and taking public transport. (Btw, it helps my heart... I think I'd live longer walking anyway. Oh, and don't mistake that for sour grapes... when I should get my own set of wheels, I will. When they are relatively less expensive. Haha.) And I'm not against material things, it's just that they aren't that important to justify sacrificing peace of mind and state of well-being.

And Daddy above is going to meet over and above my needs. So why fret? :)

But, that also doesn't mean to be complacent or easily placated... or to simply let go of the things that matter to us when the going gets tough. That, is cowardice. Being a wuss. And for people who put material fulfillment as most important, THAT is also a choice.

So, choose well... happiness IS a choice.

Or perhaps one can see it as a journey while getting there... and not a destination. Maybe they'd not be so dissatisfied. Perhaps it's cos when they achieved what they thought they wanted... and 'happiness' isn't there. Maybe cos 'happiness' has suddenly shifted the finishing line... and what they thought would bring them happiness actually doesn't/couldn't. So they set another new finishing line... and so on... becoming even more dissatisfied in the process.

So, BE HAPPY. And satisfied. Regardless. We are all sojourners.

We aren't going to be here for an eternity. So, look for the eternal and contribute to the eternal. And BE HAPPY while doing it.

Choice, Choices

2010-01-06T22:15:00.001+08:00

My tiredness is complete. My brain isn't functioning anymore.

What would I have rather chosen? Daddy above is with me. I think I wld still have chosen what I chosen. To pursue than not to. To know if something or someone is for me than to have not known at all. All things work for the good of those who love Him and are called by His name...

Musings on the 2nd Day of the New Year

2010-01-02T15:24:00.002+08:00

Well, if and when everyone knows his/her own calling… cos we are e happiest when we’re in e flow, in our calling. We wouldn’t b discontented, we wldn’t nd to end up in strife for things… ie. fight w others, engage in ptless office politics, or do things tt wld b on yr conscience forever…

When we learn that, it doesn’t and wouldn’t matter if u’re a big/small fish in whichever pond cos u’re at yr happiest n realising yr potential of who u’re created to be.

Cheers, and have a blessed 2010 ahead. :)

~ A comment, in response to http://www.elvinng.net/blog/2009/11/03/big-fish-small-fish/

Movie Abalone

2009-12-30T01:03:00.002+08:00

Whenever I think of New Moon... I think of e abalone...

How about getting Robert Pattinson to endorse New Moon (Abalone)? It'll be a hit. Hahahaha! But I'm just amusing myself.

Finally I gotta watch it - e acting is A WEE BIT painful to watch, sometimes... I'm like trying to decipher what did her frown mean - pain, confusion, thinking about something... I usually can't figure it out till she says it.

Not good. For both Bella, n e audience.

My heart goes out to Jacob, really. He reminds me of sm1. He must be heart-broken. *I was tearing then... THEN e proposal part just cracked me up... and THEN it just ended... hmm, wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

And even though I watched it alone, I made a new friend, and my new friend, let's call her Ms K, graciously sent me home! If only I can make making friends a profession. (Not that I like to take advantage of ppl - I just love knowing new ppl, hearing things from their perspective and learning fr them.) Haha. Thank you, Ms K!

I couldn't decide who to root for when Ms K asked me, I've a tendency to root for the underdog. And wolves are such beautiful creatures to behold. She said she likes e vampires... but... I like e IDEA of vampires... but I think I like Jacob better. There, I said it. :P

After Avatar on Christmas Eve's Eve

2009-12-25T14:01:00.001+08:00

Just watched Avatar, an alternative reality, of another world. Like watching Neo. Tt's another classic. Loved how they explained Déjà vu. If only I cld watch more movies... or not have to watch so many alone. Good to have watched Avatar not alone. :)

Avatar's like watching someone's imagination, really. Rich and relentless. Think I'd too feel my senses being bombarded if I've watched it in 3D. N mayb fall asleep as well. :)

Sometimes watching 3D makes one develop e most irritating headache, where you have to pretend tt you are ok, and still enjoying yrself.

Sometimes I think we are as if we are driven by another reality, pursuing certain things we know are not real. Or sometimes we may not know that it's not. We don't know what we don't know. Haha. Or sometimes we might pursue something that we think we want... but actually don't.

But e strength of our desires, dreams and imagination is what keeps us going. Who is to tell us that they wouldn't or wrong. That strength to pursue relentlessly is a gift. To be used. For good, and for bad. Admirable when we use that relentless strength to pursue good. Like Randy Pausch. People who willingly take e the unwalked path. No fear. No Fear. The thing that "captures our imagination", so to speak.

And there's a calling-calling too. A calling to be someone. We all have that on our lives... but sometimes some of us never find it. And fail to be that Belgarion we are meant to be. Congratulations to those who did find it, and do find it. Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock, and e door will be opened to you. Sometimes I think we get lost cos we don't know what to ask for.

Perhaps that's where FLOW is. When one's desire, calling and ability match. The rest will come.

Sometimes a life is cut short. For what? I can never tell for now, but I know there's a gd plan for us. Still.

Gaia is crying. Like e Tree of Souls. And we are like e Sky People who think we can take whatever we want. How detestable. So we ought to be defeated... which means...?

Someone like who's like Jake (gd-looker Sam Worthington) who'd ride on e Toruk... to unite e 5 Na'vi tribes?

Maybe we really need someone to do that... impressive enough to counter this: http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/dec/19/copenhagen-key-questions-climate-deal

But I wonder why... this period of time feels more a Nov Thanksgivg than a Dec Christmas... ... mayb that's what most of us lack. Sometimes I forget. Completely. E ability and willingness to give thanks for what's good. But it ain't cos we're gloating at others' misfortunes... And I sincerely give thanks. I've much to thank for.

And sometimes it's cos we have too much to lose... that we do not even dare to place a bet... and we simply drift. Being uncertain. Being unsure. Cos we are afraid to lose again? But indeed... "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it does not, it was never meant to be." AND sometimes when we know that it's not to be... don't touch, but sometimes it's just too hard. Or sometimes we are simply too selfish... n think only of our own needs that e other is simply ignored or placed 2nd. Mere mortals we are. Dependence misplaced.

If only it's easy to love. And simply love. Without considering how and why. If we do have to consider e hows and whys... is it still love then? Is "bread" and love always vs each other... does it come in a neat package, usually?

I think I'm e one who'd choose love-love. Hmm. Do I have a choice in e first plc? Dunno. I'm just thinking out loud. Even when we say "No choice"... tt's a CHOICE made too! Maybe I'm just being naive. Ha. Well, I don't want to be naive. Child-like would be good, thank you very much. And so it's with faith. It is “with the heart” and accurate knowledge that one exercises faith.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Indeed.

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

2007-11-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

Matthew 10:39

39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

This was the verse I heard, during worship at SA's.

If I have no concern for my reputation, "face", I won't be concerned, or afraid. I can do all through Jesus. I don't HAVE to be afraid, as long as I know that I am doing His Will, and whatever request it would be, it would be a "Yes." And I shall ask Him to stop me in what I'm doing should I have heard something wrongly in the 1st place.

Solved! :D

Kingdom economy: Matt19:30 "But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first." Let's seek more... and see what He says... Daddy, please show me...

An Introduction to The Old Testament Template by Landa Cope

2007-11-13T11:44:00.000+08:00

*Rediscovering God's principles for discipling all nations*

Good for me to put my reflections in here... heh.

God has defined principles for 1. Government, 2. Economics, 3. Science & Technology, 4. Church, 5. Family, 6. Education, 7. Communication, and lastly 8. Arts and Entertainment, but when evangelising, we've not bothered to go beyond the message of salvation, and like what the book says, has truncated the entire biblical message, which Cope feels that has not helped the evangelised nations at all.

So... the 5 principles for Govt:
1. Government ordained by God and essential to the life of a nation.

Deu 1:9-12

The Appointment of Leaders

9 At that time I said to you, "You are too heavy a burden for me to carry alone. 10 The LORD your God has increased your numbers so that today you are as many as the stars in the sky. 11 May the LORD, the God of your fathers, increase you a thousand times and bless you as he has promised! 12 But how can I bear your problems and your burdens and your disputes all by myself?

2. Govt gets its authority from the people.

Deu 1:13

13 Choose some wise, understanding and respected men from each of your tribes, and I will set them over you."

God will not leave the people floundering, but gave guidelines:

3. Character: "wise, understanding and respected men"

4. Representative: "from each of your tribes"
Consensus: Deut 1:14 "You answered me, "What you propose to do is good."

In that sentence, there's consensus from the people.

And 5. Govt's primary purposes to provide a source of just resolution to disputes and conflicts of the people.

Domain of govt reveals: The King of Kings
Primary attribute of God: Justice
God governs this domain through: Delegation of authority to the people

Therefore, there shouldn't be a dichotomy of a secular vs churched life. If we're professed Christians, then all we do shall be worship onto Him. Let's give thanks for Mondays!

*More to come, watch this space... *

Majesty (Here I am)

2007-09-03T11:55:00.001+08:00

Hallelujah

26 Guards

2006-11-29T11:14:00.000+08:00

I remember being woken up at 4+ am to pray for a colleague of mine... and I said a short prayer, and fell asleep. Never underestimate the power of prayers. And never neglect the prompting to pray.

Here's a message that will bring you chills. Have you ever felt the urge to pray for someone and then just put it on a list and said, "I'll pray for them later?"

Or has anyone ever called you and said, "I need you to pray for me, I
have this need?"

Read the following story that was sent to me and may it change the way that you may think about prayer and also the way you pray.

You will be blessed by this.

A missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home
church in
Michigan
.

"While serving at a small field hospital in
Africa
, every two weeks I
traveled by bicycle through the jungle to a nearby city for supplies.
This was a journey of two days and required camping overnight at the halfway point.

On one of these journeys, I arrived in the city where I planned to
collect money from a bank, purchase medicine, and supplies, and then begin my two-day journey back to the field hospital.

Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting, one of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for his injuries and at the same time talked to him about the Lord.

I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and arrived home without
incident.

Two weeks later I repeated my journey.

Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young man I had
treated. He told me that he had known I carried money and medicines. He said, 'Some friends and I followed you into the jungle, knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your money and drugs.

But just as we were about to move into your camp, we saw that you were surrounded by 26 armed guards.

At this, I laughed and said that I was certainly all alone in that
jungle campsite.

The young man pressed the point, however, and said, 'No, sir, I was not the only person to see the guards, my friends also saw them, and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that we were afraid and left you alone.'

At this point in the sermon, one of the men in the congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked if he could tell him the exact day this happened.

The missionary told the congregation the date, and the man who
interrupted told him this story:

"On the night of your incident in
Africa
, it was morning here and I was preparing to go play golf. I was about to putt when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord was so strong, I called men in this church to meet with me here in the sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those men who met with me on that day stand up?"

The men who had met together to pray that day stood up. The missionary wasn't concerned with who they were, he was too busy counting how many men he saw.

There were 26.

This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in mysterious ways. If you ever hear such prodding, go along with it.

Nothing is ever hurt by prayer except the gates of hell. I encourage you to forward this to as many people as you know.

If we all take it to heart, we can turn this world toward God once
again. As the above true story clearly illustrates, "with God all things are possible".

More importantly, how God hears and answers the prayers of the faithful. After you read this, please pass it on and give God thanks for the beautiful gift of your faith, for the powerful gift of prayer, and for the many miracles He works in your own daily life... and then pass it on. Who says God does not work in mysterious ways

I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today. To guide you
and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him our cares you know He will see us through.

So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best, Just
remember I'm here praying, and God will do the rest.

Pass this on to those whom you want God to bless...

Adapted from http://noside_gelle.blogs.friendster.com/

"If you worry, why pray? If you pray, why worry?" :)

Gratitude, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving

2006-11-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse ~ Henry van Dyke

Preparing baby soul-food

2006-10-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

I see an image of preparing baby food - baby food for the soul, to guide the new spritual babes.

"Such blessed apostles, with their healthy, holy disregard for the world and its men, shame us.

'They climbed the steep ascent to heaven
Through peril, toil and pain;
O God, to us may grace be given
To follow in their train.'

May we, too, finish our course with joy."

~Ravenhill

PSI: 130 (10am) Ooohh.

2006-10-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

Idyllic Sat morning... 07 Oct 2006

2006-10-07T08:53:00.000+08:00

I remember I once wrote a poem about Sundays... ah haaa! BUT Sats a favourite.

Good to jog my memory once in a while... my birthday was indeed on a Sat. I appreciate that quietness and stillness. I hear birds chirping... hazy outside... gloomy almost. As if I am not in SG. (Not that I don't love this place, but I love travels, and experiencing different countries and cultures...) I just want to recline, make green tea and sip.

Relatively stressed lately... marks and marking! COLLECTING... things to put my red "finger paint" on.

A nice Sat morning... I'm grateful... think I would like to go back to bed after watching Spongebob Square Pants - been wanting to watch the cartoon for ages!

It's even hazy outside... I think the PSI must have shot through the 100 ceiling last night... while coming back fr dinner, and walking back to Orchard Mrt with R, I was painfully amazed how people could still smoke. In the HAZE. Hello... ???

Recall getting my sis to smoke... since she's ever so curious since she's a toddler. "Rather she tries it in my presence, than with friends," I thought... and she's never touched one since. She's too wise for that. She asked then, "Why is it that people like smoking so much when it stinks...?"

I wondered why too. Still do.

Trip to LJ - still waiting. Setting things in motion, we should... then simply wait. Or it'd simply be too late... I don't like to be hurried. "Hurry yourself then," that answer came to me loud and clear. Thanks, Daddy. (I want my obedience and daily devotion to be onto Him (Jesus!), always and forever...)

GB. I should. When? Soon as. Can I? I can.

SM2s. Love them... :)

Teenagers in school... love them too! :D

Akan datang: Books to read, papers to mark. I should make marking my hobby. HEH.

He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I trust!

2006-07-27T22:12:00.000+08:00

PSALM 91

1HE WHO [a]dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].
2I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!

3For [then] He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.

4[Then] He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and His faithfulness are a shield and a buckler.

5You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night, nor of the arrow (the evil plots and slanders of the wicked) that flies by day,

6Nor of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor of the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste at noonday.

7A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you.

8Only a spectator shall you be [yourself inaccessible in the secret place of the Most High] as you witness the reward of the wicked.

9Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place,(A)

10There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent.

11For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].

12They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.(B)

13You shall tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample underfoot.(C)

14Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness--trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].

15He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

16With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation.

The rich promises of this whole chapter are dependent upon one's meeting exactly the conditions of these first two verses (see Exod. 15:26).
26 He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."

The song of Moses for the deliverance of Israel.

This song is the most ancient we know of. It is a holy song, to the honour of God, to exalt his name, and celebrate his praise, and his only, not in the least to magnify any man. Holiness to the Lord is in every part of it. It may be considered as typical, and prophetical of the final destruction of the enemies of the church. Happy the people whose God is the Lord. They have work to do, temptations to grapple with, and afflictions to bear, and are weak in themselves; but his grace is

their strength. They are often in sorrow, but in him they have comfort; he is their song. Sin, and death, and hell threaten them, but he is, and will be their salvation. The Lord is a God of almighty power, and woe to those that strive with their Maker! He is a God of matchless perfection; he is glorious in holiness; his holiness is his glory. His holiness appears in the hatred of sin, and his wrath against obstinate sinners. It appears in the deliverance of Israel, and his faithfulness to his

own promise. He is fearful in praises; that which is matter of praise to the servants of God, is very dreadful to his enemies. He is doing wonders, things out of the common course of nature; wondrous to those in whose favour they are wrought, who are so unworthy, that they had no reason to expect them. There were wonders of power and wonders of grace; in both, God was to be humbly adored. (Ex 15:22-27)

Rattled in jitters

2006-07-23T10:33:00.000+08:00

I'm beside myself. DON'T WANT NO SCREW-UPS.

Wide-eyed and frozen in fright, like a deer caught - oncoming headlights.

Tears ran for no reason, what am I to do? Just teach.

Can't sleep, can't wake up.

Nothing settles. Sleep doesn't. Food doesn't. Nerves don't.

I thought I knew. Now I don't.

Rattled. High-strung. Tight-rope.

Even music is kinda funnie.

"Wild World"

L'imparfait De L'objectif is SIMI?

2006-06-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

My new favourite colour: Pink!

Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message) Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.

Went to take a look at a photography exhibition at The newly re-furbs Arts House when it feels almost like a Friday... when it's a Thurs. :)
"Early Works by Henri Cartier-Bresson"... hope I can make it for the "L'imparfait De L'objectif" by Robert Doisneau at Alliance Francaise... closes at 7pm on Mon-Fri, and 5pm on Sat... too early... anyone who knows the exact meaning of the French terms, let me know... :)

Can't even rem when was the last time I went for a photog exhibition, but I do like the long corridors, and I like that photogs adorning the walls. I rem going with the special someone... so looonngg ago. Black and whites as well. Australia. Outbacks... In school uniforms, smells, pictures with stories, gentle hands, willing hearts.

Passed a picture of a couple holding each other's hands at window of Marche copycat... an unconscious joy lit me, and infused me with warmth, and hope. Wishing them all the best. :D

Loved Living Room - muted lights, high ceilings, rugs, plush... PLUSH CUSHIONS! I want that to be my living room! haha.

B/W Pictures - places - Marseille, Aurville (?), Italie, Mexica (?), places long forgotten, emotions stumped, malencholy in full glory. Many recycled into the greens we eat.

"The WHY ARE YOU HERE CAFE" -- John P. Strelecky
Why are you here?
Do you fear death?
Are you fulfilled?
1. Do more NEW things out of what we usually do, do more of the things that we WANT to do... to find our Purpose For Existing (like looking at photogs! haha... watching movies... haha...) Why postpone all these till retirement?
2. Green Sea Turtle -- go with the flow when it helps propel us -- but not let incoming wave of unsolicits eat at our attention span and energy.

It's dad's birthday, a day of reckoning... Jabez Prayer, I pray, Amen. Everyday. For my family, my relationships, my ministry, my cell, my friends, everyone and anyone whose lives I was allowed to touch... and of cos, my church, and my leaders!

Liked the idea of Settler's Cafe. I'd like a cafe. Even tho I can't bake for nuts. Does cooking count? okok. Shld pop by bed, and can make rice dumplings later this morn... *double heh*

Been looking at running shoes, and starting to run again... or else won't be able to handle the 21.5km in Dec. Wonder have I not shopped for running shoes for a long time... or they are so technically advanced that they've just overshot inflation.

Do we trust him enough to be secure in His Love?

2006-03-21T00:56:00.000+08:00

We should always ask ourselves, are we being grateful...
Perhaps I should be asking that question myself.

DO NOT.

2006-02-13T01:26:00.000+08:00

1. Stop being critical/judgemental.

2. Not to say/do something when it stems from fanning one's ego.

2006-02-12T19:34:00.000+08:00

Knowing His Provision, His Hands, His Heart...

2006-01-26T01:40:00.000+08:00

And that will mean giving up, dying to oneself. Is that Illogical, delusional...? No, but sacrificial, certainly.

"Love, Business, Family. Having financial freedom, building a global business empire of my own, having a chance to travel around the world, learning new cultures and working with nice, friendly and positive people who share my dreams and goals, offering relief to disadvantaged children, and above all, paying it forward -- helping others succeed in life too."

Occupation: For God

2006-01-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

It's nice to be home...

Albeit on MC. :( Thank goodness I'm not often sick. Heh.

And just a day reading His Word is great.

To proclaim: NO more subjecting myself to coming back late!

JUDGING:
Matthew 7:1
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

The traits in others that bothers us are often the habits we dislike in ourselves. Judge yourself first - and then lovingly forgive and help your neighbour. "Do not judge" is a call to be discerning rather than be negative.

Luke 6:38
38"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Parable of giving an exact measure of rice using a measuring cup -- "with the measure you use, it will be measured to you".

TITHING
Deuteronomy 14:22
22"You shall surely tithe all the produce from what you sow, which comes out of the field every year."

To put the Lord first, as all that we have belongs to Him, for a proper perspective on all that we have.

LEADERSHIP
Luke 6:39-40
39"And He also spoke a parable to them: "A blind man cannot guide a blind man, can he? Will they not both fall into a pit?
40A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher."

To follow the right leadership and teachers, as you will go no farther than they do. Look for leaders who will show you more about faith and whose guidance you trust.

DO NOT BE A HYPOCRITE
Matthew 6:4-6 (The Message)
4"Just do it--quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.
5And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?
6Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."

A hypocrite is a person who puts on religious behaviour in order to gain attn, approval, acceptance or admiration fr others, is not someone who tries to do the right thing but fails, or fulfill their duty when they don't feel like doing it, nor is it someone who is weak in faith.

Take heart. :)

Proverbs 3:5
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.

Under Cover

2006-01-04T01:44:00.000+08:00

"No matter how good it looks, tastes, or feels; no matter how rich, abundant, wise or successful it may make you, if it is not from God, it will eventually lead you down a path of intense sorrow, regret, and, in the end, death. Obedience is the ultimate worship. Even 99.9% obedience is DISobedience. Rebellion is witchcraft."

I am a PSYCHOLOGIST, true to my nature... ROTFL

2006-01-04T01:35:00.000+08:00

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should
major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and
expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your
beliefs through writing.

Psychology

100%

Journalism

100%

Sociology

100%

Dance

92%

English

92%

Art

92%

Anthropology

92%

Biology

92%

Theater

83%

Linguistics

83%

Chemistry

67%

Philosophy

58%

Mathematics

50%

Engineering

33%

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

Dream a Little Dream of Me

2005-12-29T02:04:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/?v=HoEXS3LGezs

Dream a Little Dream of Me ~ Louis Armstrong

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longin’ to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

(instrumental break)

Stars shining up above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Yes, dream a little dream of me

CHRISTMAS. THANKSGIVING!

2005-12-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

From such a different situation to attending MOL and enjoying themselves...

What more can I ask? Making the decisions to be Christians!

Baptism is close at hand.

With an extra present thrown in - Grandma was asking me whyfore tears. Touched... I am.

Pressure to perform at work, since prize presented. Ah. The psychology of award-giving. Receiving, rather. With the entire crowd of peeps as witnesses. Lord I ask for wisdom and your anointing in my work, productivity, follow-up, politeness, giving more than expected or promised.

I proclaim my family's salvation.

Calm. At peace. INVITE!

Jehovah Jireh

2005-12-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

Another busy weekEND.

I think Daddy grants wishes -- cos I've always wanted to host parties at my plc.

It's most amazing -- actually had a worship and word shared at home. Amazing...

And sis was playing MahJong with Dad and Mum, and entertained KJ and TR, when I'm not even home yet. *embarrassed laughter*

Now there's almost a party every week... haha. super tiredz... and packing my room, and mopping the floor after the guests have left every week now.

MOL! Baptism!

Jehovah Jireh.

Daddy, please give us 10 days in a week

2005-12-17T07:00:00.000+08:00

Time is a scarce resource. Very. Indeed.

Had a good chat sis yesterday. So kewl. D List too? You go, girl!

Dad woke me this morning, me. Infamous missing alarms and phone calls when I'm asleep... especially when I'm so tired... 4am... No one but you can wake me... haha.

A thot came to mind just before I woke, something fr the Lord, something I can do, with my earthly Dad...?

Or am I coming to the end of my line?

Thanks, Daddy for waking me... :P

I give this day to you, Lord, and everyday for the rest of time, I am grateful I can give thanks. Amazing grace. That's you... you... you...

Beautiful Day -- U2.

Faith, a muscle to be exercised

2005-11-28T11:11:00.000+08:00

A 3-year-old by now. A little life. How do I forget. 17 Nov 2001

Sis's 21st today. kewl. kewl.

And huge celebrations this weekend -- D&D, Youth Cell Outing, Stanchart Run, Sis's BD party. Seriously think I SHOULD be taking the following Monday off instead.

Mum says granddad misses those times at S'goon Gardens, who doesn't. I miss my grandma's cooking...

69 Lentor -- over 3mil on that one -- or a 1.6 mil. Too much. But literally a stone's throw away.

We like seeing houses. Even at S'goon Gardens. Wonder if I could ask to walk into my houses where I used to stay and tour it for a while.

Mum's good at psychology. She knows I'd wanna do something for them. Haha. Gan-cheong spider, no less.

I remembered about how Mum would accompany me do art pieces and paint... albeit that they are tips fr the encyclopedia... haha. And she supports my singing... or cause she likes the idea of being Sing Ma? haha.

Met up with SS again yesterday too. So fun. haha...

Lord, I pray for BOTH provisions AND time.

I'm at the edge of breakthrough. Faith, is, to be exercised, as I took out my bible, and read a verse to Mum. And I could actually find the verse! haah. In Ephesians...

Faith = hope and certainty. NOT uncertainty.

Luke 17: 1-10
1. Start Right and Get the Faith -- Choose to Worship
2. Stay Committed and Grow the Faith -- Complete the Work
3. Speak Boldly and Humbly -- Check your Words

Faith grows when you finish the tasks He's given.

http://www.godtoday.com/famous.htm

"A little faith will bring your soul to heaven ,
but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your
soul."
Dwight L. Moody

17 Nov 1999, 17 Nov 2005, 17 Nov 2007

2005-11-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

Do you remember where you were on 17 Nov 1999?

If you are at the beach - you are at the right place!

Watching the Leonids!

"God knows.
When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried. When you've cried so long and your
heart is in anguish... God has counted your tears.

If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.

When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone
call...
God is by your side.

When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to
turn...
God has a solution.

When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.

If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.

When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.

When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe.. God has
smiled upon you.

When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.

Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing...
God Knows."

Lovely day - cos Daddy knows you're feeling down.
problems solved. things turn out well. peeps become reasonable. even the cinema was playing Cranberries b4 the show.
the rainbow has appeared. the rain is over, sun is shining,

"How do you talk to an Angel, how do you hold her close to where you are.
how do u talk to an Angel, it's like trying to catch a falling star..."

17 Nov 2005 -- beginning of a new phase, a new life. Everyday.
17 Nov 2007, like what WL says, I just need to find my groom. haha.

There is a time for everything. In His Timing.

A new song. A picture of this land.

The real questions of life

2005-11-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

Why would you score 88% in an exam but don't feel a thing?
How would you feel when you want to watch a movie but can't?
Why would you choose to be home on a Saturday nite?
How do we not love oneself and choose to eat less and exercise when we need to?
How do you deal with a loved one who says don't know most of the time, and doesn't want to learn, or seemingly doesn't care?
Who do you look for when you are besieged with problems or troubles?
How do you take care of tears that surge cos you don't feel nothing is important anymore?
Why are there always times you feel you're falling behind?
And how do you feel victorious without feeling arrogant?
How can you learn without falling?
How do you deal with fear that you'll never be who you wanna be, or who God wants you to be?
Or the feel that you can do so much more, but seemingly never fulfilled?
How do you deal with wanting to know the answers to life -- but nobody seems helpful?
What do we do to choose love instead of hate or discrimination?
When should you start looking for help?
Where do you start looking for the past you've lost?
Should you even start or ask for something better?
How do you crush feelings of being snuffed?
Could you have lost the will or fire to fly no more?

These, are the real questions.

Restless Spirit -- Mugging and Watching TV

2005-11-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

Popped out of room... trying to cure a bout of restlessness.

Saw the new Soo Kee jewellery advertisement -- it's nice, until I saw the huge diamond. haha. Do I have something against diamonds -- I shouldn't right?

Just that it seems to go contrary against what was presented -- stars, peace, huge expanse of land, "lying down on green pastures", relationships... then the huge big diamond, or am I just envious I don't have one? haha.

It just seems so ... DUH. Everything seems right. Then that diamond -- which embodies work, strive, greed, money...

I understand what the ad is trying to say -- sealing that promise of a relationship, peace, life together forever...

BUT just looks wrong. *bleah* Hmmm.

OH. And I love the new coke commercial. Hip. In. Even though it's thot it's good enough to wash toilet bowls with. keke.

I love multi-task.

*really?* like real. :)

Boredom, a detestable word in my dictionary

2005-11-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

I want to be the man that I was made.

Before boredom sets in, and ruins the beautiful skins of responsibility, and trustworthiness -- yet, a gift?

It takes courage to be a prude.

How to be a kewl cat and run after Him?

Which side of the coin are you looking at?

Throw caution to the wind, and suffer wreakage upon the cold shores.

Embrace wine and song, and soon city walls will come tumbling down.

What do you choose to be, unworthy one.

Blaze a path... one so bright, none else can emulate.

TV -- a necessary evil?

2005-11-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

For a lover of advertisements, MTVs, documentaries... it might sound strange... but I think television shld probably be banned. It mainly kills intellect, and prob correlates with worsening familial relationships... still think it's a necessary evil? Grr.

Presenting... one of my favourites... Ode to my family

estea's Voice <-- weblink

2005-10-30T13:52:00.000+08:00

(unadulterated)

Majesty - Here I am

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am...
(sw swallowed my voice!)

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

2005-10-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

Here I am.

2005-10-23T17:14:00.001+08:00

Majesty (Here I Am)

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Written by Stu Garrard/Martin Smith ©2003 Curious? Music UK

Pain still lives in me, apparently. Do I know it, do I not know it? I am not completely free -- free to run, free to fly.
Help myself first before I can help others, or could I turn this logic on its head?
How different are His Ways with the world's?

And I've money sprinkled on the floor... do u know what that means?

Steve Jobs speech at Stanford

2005-10-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

How many times have we read something like this, and was inspired? Many.... I hope to STAY INSPIRED. :) To all inspirors and inspirees

Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
Text of Commencement address by Steve Jobs

This is the prepared text of the address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer
and of Pixar Animation Studios, who spoke at Commencement on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the
finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.
Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college
graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life.
That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then
stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really
quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed
college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.
She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates,
so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer
and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last
minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a
waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have
an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My
biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated
from college and that my father had never graduated from high school.
She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few
months later when my patents promised that I would someday go to
college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college
that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class
parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six
months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to
do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it
out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved
their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would
all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it
was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I
could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and
begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the
floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits
to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every
Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I
loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity
and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one
example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy
instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every
label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I
had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided
to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about
serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space
between different letter combinations, about what makes great
typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in
a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.
But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh
computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac.
It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never
dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never
had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since
Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer
would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never
dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not
have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was
impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college.
But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only
connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots
will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -
your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let
me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I
started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and
in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a
$2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our
finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just
turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company
you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was
very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so
things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge
and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of
Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out.
What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was
devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had
let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped
the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and
Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a
very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the
valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what
I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had
been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start
over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple
was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness
of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner
again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the
most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another
company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would
become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer
animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful
animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple
bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at
NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I
have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been
fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the
patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.
Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going
was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And
that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is
going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly
satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to
do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet,
keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll
know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets
better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find
it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live
each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be
right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33
years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If
today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about
to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days
in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've
ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because
almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of
embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of
death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that your are
going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you
have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not
to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in
the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't
even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost
certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect
to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go
home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare
to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd
have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to
make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as
possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a
biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my
stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got
a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there,
told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors
started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of
pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and
I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the
closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can
now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a
useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want
to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No
one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is
very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change
agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the
new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually
become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is
quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other
people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly
want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole
Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was
created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo
Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the
late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it
was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was
sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came
along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great
notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth
Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final
issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of
their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road,
the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so
adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."
It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay
Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you
graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Pruning. Potter's Hands -- take it away, even Lack.

2005-10-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

Prunes, as a Potter's Hands mold.
Another part of me falls away.
Laid to rest.
Prunes, again.
As weeds grow.
Everyday, an unceasing affair.

Tea at Sun Island resort.
Does tea cure cough? Not too sure.

Burppsss...
gluttony rears its ugly head.
lust rears its ugly head.

How do u measure up? In all sense of the word HOW.

"You take very good care of yourself alright? :)
you sound a bit down tonight, chin up!
Tomorrow will be bright and sunny!
Happy hugs."

Tears can't even find the right words to say.
Silent, thus they are.

"Come live in me, all my life, take over.
Come breathe in me, I will rise,
on eagle's wings..."

Where are the guts I have?
Ask and you shall receive.

"The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
~Psalm 23

I met Mr. Rain again

2005-10-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

Woke relatively late... oops. Gotttta rush. Meeting SH to pick up a bible for LX. Had a nice chat with her. Sweet and petite lady. I thot the Chinese Bible looked really presentable... (not like my dog-earred one now. haha. not as if I'm super steeped in the Word)

Read my books in the flapping wind and clapping thunder, but thoroughly enjoying myself facing the azure seas, tossing and turning the waves, saw peeps with their dogs, couples blading hand-in-hand. (ah. blissful. reminds me of... ), stuffed my bags into the locker, no time to blade, opted to jog... and met Mr. Rain. not too bad. haven't met him in a long time. drizzles, drizzles, painful patter.

Met up with ShaSha -- spent time going thru paper. Comforting, I think, for me. haha. To be able to spend time with her. Better word than "transmit" --> "instill".

Met SehSuan too -- had a good long chat on Christianity. Water tension made Jesus walk on water? or simply it's a miracle he performs, but our minds just has to explain it to ourselves so tt our not-so-groovy brains can accept it. Thank you, for passing me the NDP comm mags -- great memories for all, I'm sure.

Nice prussian blue clamdiggers looked on Shasha, but didn't fit her well enough, she thinks.

Another ACCt. Pains my heart. Not another BK. Not b penny-wise, pound-foolish. Do enjoy our conversations when we do have them.

Gathering steam for Sat Oct 22 gathering. Are people gonna to not turn up again? We don't suffer fr bad case of body odour, do we? :P JS just told me he's spoken to longlost HK b4 on ICQ. Added him straightaway... and MESSAGED him on +86 no. In China now apparently. wow. a good 10 yrs. incredible.

Have to call Mr. Chin. too.

"Are you free this Thurs or Sun?" No, am not. "Oh, gonna to intro u someone..." Oh, who's that? "A very nice boy. Dad met his parents while making his glasses," What's on. "Jap pianist at kaikan" MUMBLES: I'm not gonna be shakubuku-ed lor. Esp if they are gonna be becoming JB. argh.

Thinking of going with them for dinner before the event to ask for permission to be baptised. What a jaw-dropping and face-droopy event.

Lost in Translation

2005-10-09T21:00:00.001+08:00

Lovely time spent together with Dear Sis CH yesterday.

Getting lost. . . in miscomms and assumptions.................................

:P And I was grateful for the painless pardon... grateful. grateful.
------------------
Went out with LX for movie. Called cell leader SH, tho hasn't got her... shall start to encourage her to go cell. :)
------------------
Spoke to MW for 42min 20secs. Interesting -- can still talk for so long on the line... asked to get multvits for my Mum even when I'm not thinking of doing so. He's got a kind heart. :) *thanksgiving, thanksgiving* And I did laugh a lot.

.......
------------------
Demand and Supply Business. Something that I believe in. Health, nutrition. Dance. Service. People.
------------------
"Met" a very active.expressive.analytical fren -- check out his blog -- http://sehsuan.clubsnap.org/

W.H.I.M.S.I.C.A.L.

2005-10-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

W.H.I.M.S.I.C.A.L.

completely.

"What's your dream?"

歌曲：丝路歌手：梁静茹

如果流浪是你的天赋
那么你一定是我最美的追逐
如果爱情是你的游牧
拥有过是不是该满足
谁带我踏上孤独的丝路
追逐你的脚步
谁带我离开孤独的丝路
感受你的温度
我将眼泪流成天山上面的湖
让你疲倦时能够扎营停驻
羌笛声胡旋舞为你笑为你哭
爱上你的全部放弃我的全部
爱上了你之后我开始领悟
陪你走了一段最唯美的国度
爱上了你之后我从来不哭
谁是谁的幸福
我从来不在乎
谁是谁的旅途
我只要你记住
星星就是穷人的珍珠
你的笑支撑着我虔诚的最初
狂风沙是我单薄衣服
穿越过亚细亚的迷雾
羌笛声胡旋舞为你笑为你哭(ho~为你哭)
hey爱上你的全部放弃我的全部(我的全部)
云破日出
你是那道光束
带着平凡的我走过奇迹旅途
爱上了你之后我从来不哭(no~oh~)
我从来不在乎(我不在乎)
谁是谁旅途
我只要
你记住

That's me, 2nd from top -- unflattering, but what the heck, I had fun with a fabulous group of frens

2005-10-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

My sis and I during granddad's birthday...

*testing 1, 2,3*

2nd best

2005-10-03T23:58:00.001+08:00

Acutely felt the sense of inadequacy again -- it's such a strange feel...

To think that it is an affliction that had plagued me, and probably by now, it's now all gone...

But simply an outing could bring back all those insecurities, shame, and guilt.

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon" Matthew 6:24

"But seek first His Kingdom, and these things shall be added to you" Luke 12:31

"Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6.34

What great joy to give up what you want badly... but not meant to be.

2005-10-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

Some things are just not meant to be said, as they are not meant to be.

I SHALL keep my peace.

Chase after my Purpose -- others, in His time, not mine.

And I pray...

A_A_I_ M_R_S_E_T_
"Your House"

I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
I went down to the den
I found your cd's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
And I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon

I am not ready.

2005-09-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

Fight. With my will.

It's useless. Futile effort furiously, emptying...

Priorities. God. Car. Body-building. Studies. Me. Future. Stocks. Friends. Family. etc.
Are you losing some things cos spent too much time or effort or money on certain things? Not to be penny-wise, and pound-foolish.

There are so many things I think I want to do... but either you are not interested or you just don't have the time... am I being selfish...? I know i can be stubborn and selfish too.

Haven't went chiong-ing, went movie, steamboat... in-line skating... go gym, go overseas (short trip), go shopping -- see you try on clothes, shop for food, etc. Is there a day to meet... or is it always last min?

I agree very much with you -- that as a pair -- there is a certain power. Sometimes as one... it really seems so difficult to sustain life's happiness, sorrows, problems, friends, conversations... life going forward -- together, end in mind (yet protecting each other's heart), not to advance more than the other party is ready to.

admire very much tt u want to do business.

YOu have a very kind soul actually -- can see it thru your eyes -- might be tough and show-offy... but seldom I meet ppl with the kindness... it shines thru, actually. u don't have an ulterior motive when u do things. u are who u are. guess I'm quite like tt as well. I hate ppl to play politics with me. IRRITATES THE HELL OUT OF ME.

Thanks for showing my friends, P, and the rest, my parents the respect as well. Sorry I haven't been a good example... when I get pissed off at home, cos I don't like it when my parents don't show respect to my friends.

At that time when u said your dad asked u to move out, when u asked if u could come stay with me. sorry tt I sort of encouraged to. not right of me.

Critical -- fat -- I don't even know how to become thin... you said you don't mind, but you keep talking abt it... I know you can easily find someone who's prettier, younger, don't want you to feel you are settling for something. YOu think I don't want to be thin meh? But still don't think it's right to expose myself so to get attn even if I am.

Can't eat this, can't wear that. :(

I love you for your kindness, your dislike towards men who beat women. your straightforward attitude. I LOVE your talent in music -- use it well. It's amazing. Use your mind well. something i could do together with you -- go watch AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. was thinking of you when I watched the show. I tell you when I go out with someone cos I don't want you or your friends who see me carry tales to you.

We become the people we hang out most with...

You don't like my words, and philosophy -- > but it's guiding principle.

I worry like hell for you... cos I know you now at a stage where you can't afford to lose -- can't afford to have another accident, another loss, etc. ANd I don't want you to lose those or be angry, upset or pissed.

I thank God for bringing you into yr sch's cell, even the articles which you have been writing -- let me know when it's published...

Very encouraged with the article that you wrote -- that you stand, believe for something... I haven't read it yet. Don't know if I do agree with it... or not.

I pray that the Lord will guide your path and may His Angels watch over you. I think He is coming very soon... like you said. I wish I know the bible better... to share more with you. It's the end times.

Your words matter a lot to me... and I kinda have to shut myself when you say shut up, or bullshit -- i might look tough, but am really vulnerable inside. Next time I shld probably ban shouting or screaming in my home. No like ppl screaming at me. Or hollering... thinking they know better.

I like emails and msn, or even messages jus to drop a note I miss you... ... cos I guess I still find difficult to express myself -- it's a different persona I have when I'm with a big group of ppl.

I'm not complete yet -- feel like I'm shortchanging you too.

Love that you love cars -- I really don't mind washing cars... nor covering.

Encouraged by your sch results... so nice. so hopeful. :)

Grateful to you for being faithful, for telling me things, sharing your thots, being able to be totally myself -- as disgusting as I can be.

God knows I love you.

And to fulfill my promise -- the translation to
FLY AWAY BY FISH LEONG 梁靜茹

這一次　是我自己為自己下的決定
This time, it's a decision I made myself
很小心　你說慢慢來別怕來不及
Very carefully -- you said it's ok, take it slow
如果我　還有一點點不安或者遲疑
If I had been slightly unsure or hesitant,
我不會　對你的反應那麼好奇
I won't be so responsive to you...

落葉啊　其實也很不願意
Fallen leaves, don't wish to fall
其實也不想回憶　誰沒等到錯過了流星
In fact, we don't want to reminisce -- but haven't some of us waited till we've missed the
shooting star?
我們啊　交集在這意外的假期
We met during this incidental break
一定哪裡見過你　一定曾經夢見你
We must have met, or dreamt of each other before...

＊Fly Away　無窮無盡是你深邃的眼睛
Fly away, with your soulful eyes...
　看著你　就可以讓我茫茫人海裡感到安定
Looking at you, I can be consoled
　Fly Away　當我不顧一切無止境追尋
Fly away, when I'm relentless in my pursuit
　有一個人　有一顆心
There is one person, with one heart
　早已經默默之中在那裡＊
who's already quietly waiting...

這一次　問我自己都說我毫不懷疑
This time, I'm asking myself if I have any doubts
愛上你　終於我發現我還有勇氣
Loving you, I find that I do have the courage
唯一我　覺得遺憾的是我不夠仔細
The only regret I have is that I didn't listen enough
不瞭解　你說那一些話的用意
and didn't understand what you were trying to tell me.

幾乎是所有時間在想你
I spent almost all my time thinking of you
快樂之後是壓抑　有沒有過這樣的呼吸
I had to suppress myself after having felt that happiness -- have you lived like this before
幸福啊　只要一個眼神的交集
And joy, comes with simply a look we share
我們擁抱著刺激　我們渴望著相遇
We're breathless with anticipation, and we look forward to meeting again

REPEAT＊＊

Fly Away　當我不顧一切無止境追尋
Fly away, when I'm relentless in my pursuit
是你的人　是你的心
There's you, with your love
日日夜夜陪我在這裡
accompanying me through the days

Blaze of Halley's

2005-07-29T02:40:00.000+08:00

It is only a few days ago that I thot I was set.

I know exactly what I want.

Two days ago on Tues, we met. And now I'm still up at 2.45am.

Not complaining -- but things sure change fast.

Shld I be turning up on? Meeting P, J, J, n the rest?

Will I be digging up a can of worms or worse?

Can't find the website I wanted to look for -- ???

Am I compromising?

It's still safe to let go -- as was said...

Falling in Love... ...

2005-07-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

Soundtrack: Mr & Mrs Smith
Title: Mondo Bongo (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros)

I was patrolling a Pachinko
Nude noodle model parlor in the Nefarious zone
Hanging out with insects under ducting
The C.I.A was on the phone
Well, such is life

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair, oh

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair

For the Zapatistas I'll rob my sisters
Of all the curtain and lace

Down at the bauxite mine
You get your own uniform
Have lunchtimes off
Take a monorail to your home

Checkmate, baby
God bless us and our home
Where ever we roam
Now take us home, flaquito

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair

LEANN RIMES - Insensitive Lyrics
How do you cool your lips
After a summer's kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound of a voice
You'd know anywhere
[chorus]
Oh I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After you've found a friend
How do you teach your heart it's a crime
To fall in love again
Oh you probably won't remember me
It's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
[chorus]

Artist : James Blunt

Title : You're Beautiful
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Life isn't fair, but God is Good.

BUILT to LAST John 15:1-17

2005-07-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

What have we BUILT that will LAST?

We have a tendency to rem the things that might have been the silliest, or the unimpt issues -- but what is most impt in life is the purpose we've been made for.

John 15: 16
16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

1 Cor 3: 12-15
12 Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. 13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. [1]

14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. 15 The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one.

ARE WE BUILDING THINGS TO LAST?

Gal 5: 22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Two things tt last -- Character, People.

Proverbs 11:30
30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
and whoever captures souls is wise.

How to be fruitful, and how to bring forth fruits that last?

1. Principle of Linkage -- Fruit
2. Principle of Loss -- More Fruit
3. Principle of Love -- Fruit that will last

"fruit" appears 9 times, and to do so... "remain" appears 11 times -- meaning to dwell, choosing not to leave.

1. To have a linkage, a branch cannot exist by itself -- where do we get life? From Jesus! Thus, to be linked to Jesus.

John 15:7
7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Thus, to be not only deeper in the Word, but deeper in obedience. Only when we're linked to Him, then can we hear Him.

2. It's only when things are pruned, or cut, can it grow better.
When sin is in our lives, it stops God from giving us fruits.

Proverbs 26:2
2 Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying,
a curse that is causeless does not alight.

If we don't sin, there's no reason the Devil can come into our lives. In other words, when we sin, we give the Devil the right to interfere.

Job 11:13-19
13 “If you prepare your heart,
you will stretch out your hands toward him.
14 If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away,
and let not injustice dwell in your tents.
15 Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish;
you will be secure and will not fear.
16 You will forget your misery;
you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
17 And your life will be brighter than the noonday;
its darkness will be like the morning.
18 And you will feel secure, because there is hope;
you will look around and take your rest in security.
19 You will lie down, and none will make you afraid;
many will court your favor.

Clean our sins.
Cut away.

It could be the sense of possession over our belongings, or the people we hold dear.

John 15:12-13
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.

John 15:17
17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Mother Theresa: "We can't do great things, but we can do small things with great love."

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
The Way of Love
13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, [1] but have not love, I gain nothing.

Are we willing to love, like God? Are we prepared to be pruned, or cut?

TO be read in public -- so MEN will know you're available

2005-07-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

But I've decided to read it at home -- Despite the very alluring "explanation" of how the book's supposed to work...

Haha -- to tone down the weight of desperation...? HAHA.

Anyway, it's a toss up of the 1. gym and 2. blading at the beach today... and it's already 4.58pm.

But I refuse to be rushed about on a SUNDAY. 'It's sabbath.'

GAK GAK GAK.

Let's lift up our prayers to Him, b4 other things... ie. like the beckoning bed.

Jus saw Ps Khong on TV. Interesting show. Starring Aileen Tan, and Zhu Houren.

Think it's been in my heart since the earliest sermons at the church to adopt. Never forgot it. Strange, I know, but true. Who would be able to understand that?

But I did give up mine. Who's to say? Who's to judge?

Housekeeping -- to be done.

Just saw some old neoprints. iiinnntteerressting... haha.

Hmm. Can't find tt letter with the names anywhere. Have they already been thrown? All for the better then.

We move on with our lives. As always. :)

Daddy, we lift these up to you

2005-07-14T00:07:00.000+08:00

Prayer Requests of SaiL12 (shared on 11th July 2005)

SA
- Relationship with QL, for them to come to a common understanding
- Relationships with family members, for God to draw them closer.

SS
- To be able to meet Ps EG in August, and that the meeting would proceed smoothly (pray for favour with EG and for God to help her with preparation for this interview)

CH
- Mum, who just accepted Christ will grow and will find accountability in her church (Lighthouse Tampines)
- Dad to be convicted that gambling is a sin and to repent. Pray that he would also grow as a Christian
- Healing and reconciliation in the family

LT
- Breakthrough in communication between family members, that we can talk to one another without shouting, quarrelling and cursing
- God to show me what to share with my sm2s this sat. Pray for God’s presence and provision for this gathering. Breakthrough with my sm2s, to know them personally. Pray that they’ll go to Spook Show with open hearts and minds

SY
- Pioneering secondary school ministry (tuition). Pray for walls to come down and students will come! Pray for protection from spiritual attacks
- Brother’s work to stablise, that he’ll earn enough and be wise in his spending

SW
- Wisdom and sensitivity to Holy Spirit, as she meets up with her friend, to discuss issues of relationship and morality
- Kind souls to adopt her rabbits, that God will provide a home for them

LL
- Relationship with YL, that she’ll be able to reach YL. YL and bf (Kelvin) have courage to find another church to settle in
- CRL, to understand God’s heart about why God has so many rules. To trust and obey the Word of God
- MYN, to have courage to be open to God’s work in her life, to settle down in a church

LW
- Healing from flu
- Workplace, for bosses to be responsible, for workload to be reduced to acceptable level
- God’s providence for family financially, for sister to find a job

JL
- Time to pray, to focus while praying
- Time to spend with family me

ST
- Relationship with Dad to improve. Dad will come to put the needs of family first. God to provide for them financially
- To balance work and ministry

Pain is a call to serve

2005-07-12T01:29:00.000+08:00

叶子 (蔷薇之恋原声带版) 歌词

阿桑

叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子
天堂原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的叶子

Haaha. Quite glad, this thing can paste Chinese... :P

It's strange. How seeing someone you've not met for sometime can make you think and miss him so much more.

Just met Zhaoyan today, after so many yrs -- my pri school friend. My best friend in P1, P2. And she's getting married on Oct 8 to Jeremy. Also from CCHS (M). How time flies.

How often shld we take stock of life? To think -- I knew her 20 yrs ago. But I don't think I know her now.

How much do we know of what our friends think, feel, and wat's impt to them, their priorities, their burdens, their problems... how much do we empathise... how unselfish are we?

Does lending someone money make the person obligated to us? How much can we leverage on that?

I pray for Lixia, and Junqi. Why am I so passionate about bringing them to church?

If I think I'm not good enuff, why do I still want to be a star? Is it to cover up for my real self, or am I really a selfish person anyway?

What is money? How much is money worth? Dignity? Sanity? Other's opinions? Integrity? Own measure of self-worth? "One can't serve two masters."

Money isn't bad -- let me reiterate. It's just a mode of payment -- like NETS. haha.

As long as it's not yours, it falls under the category of things that are to be returned to it's rightful owner. 路不拾遗。Do feelings work this way too? Do not covert? Does tt apply to how she already feels for him?

"Let's say if both of us are not married by a certain age then we marry each other lor"... would you ever, say yes?
"Wat u think?"
"If its u, I would"
"What about u?"

Is that a compliment or a snub? ? ? I guess money don't so much matter. Freedom matters more. Freedom. From? Freedom in the Lord?

Think I jus hurt two ppl already today.

10 Jul 2005... STOP PLAYING THE GAME OF SHAME AND BLAME.

He doesn't tempt us, we're tempted by our own selfish desires, and we've allowed the devil to perpetuate the shame and blame, and pain in our lives.

1. Stop your game of shame -- find your dignity in God.
2. Stop your game of blame -- find your destiny in God.

A. Make sure your dignity is not dependent on your looks, your bank account nor accolades from superiors or people around you. Whose approval are you seeking anyway?

His sole purpose in dying for us is to take away our shame. He bore our shame on the cross.

Most encouraging chapt in the bible -- > Romans 8.

Life in the Spirit
8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. [1] 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you [2] free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, [3] he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Heirs with Christ
12 So then, brothers, [4] we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons [5] of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

Future Glory
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because [6] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, [7] for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

God's Everlasting Love
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be [8] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. [9] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalms 2:8
8 Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage,
and the ends of the earth your possession.

He told Beethoven: You don't need to hear music to make music, it's in you.

YOu feel special not becos of the new car, or that salary increment -- they fade in two weeks -- they simply can't replace the proximity, and sincerity of someone caring, looking after and loving you -- For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

B. Take responsibility for your life.
"If only"...

Suffering comes from the Devil who came to sack, steal, kill and destroy.
No one to blame -- you commit sin as you've been thinking about it.

Besides, there is nothing anyone can do to mess up your destiny -- no one can rob you of your destiny with God. Be secure in His love.

A lady told me as she prayed for me during altar call... "My purpose comes from pain, when I serve, it resides... like a reminder, to serve the less fortunate."

Trust in His Provisions. To provide for his provisions.

I pray for happiness, and peace. Amen.

This is ME. And?

2005-07-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

"I believe life’s too short not to try things out, and I don't like to be dependent on much else than God. Loves movies, especially foreign ones - as they’re different from run-of-the-mill Hollywood. A very people person who appreciates books, cuisines, music, cars (manuals please!) and the great outdoors."

A different host of Cs –
Cooks, has Character, Charitable, Compassionate, Courteous, Cars-and-outdoors lover, Christ-like, willing to Coach and be Coachable, possesses Clarity of thoughts and plans, ability to Commence and Carry through. Too perfect?

LoveEastTimor

2005-07-02T13:39:00.000+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father...

I put East Timor into your hands... as they struggle to stand up on their feet Lord, the youngest country in Asia. I pray against corruption, I pray against greed, against poverty, diseases, and idols. I pray for prosperity for the many families. And PEACE to come. And they shall experience Your goodness thru us, My Lord.

That the little children would grow to know peace in their homelands, in their villages, grow educationally, spiritually, in hope and gratitude to You.

Lord, I pray all of these in your name. Thank you.

Amen.

MY LOVES...

2005-07-02T13:01:00.000+08:00

I saw ppl playing music at Marine Cove. As they strummed, something in me stirred. Leaning against, admiring their strength, and their will to do something they like. I wish I had that in me. Being able to fulfill that. Rem Ed said he was going for an audition when he was still in law. I guess tt dream had been let off?

Sing.

Baby, you’ve been going so crazy
Lately nothing seems to be going right
Solo, why do you have to get so low
You’re so...
You’ve been waiting in the sun too long
But if you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing
For the love you bring won’t mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing
Colder, crying on your shoulder
Hold her, and tell her everything’s gonna be fine
Surely, you’ve been going too early
Hurry ’cos no-one’s gonna be stopped
Na na na
But if you sing, sing, sing, sing sing
For the love you bring won’t mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing
Baby, there’s something going on today
But I say nothing, nothing, nothing
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothingTrack written by fran healy

AND FILMS... another love of mine. KEWL. Totally. HAHA. Should save up and start doing my own short films. A sony digital. An apple Imovie.

Photography too. Good photos tell a story. :)

Miss, my heart does.

2005-06-28T01:11:00.000+08:00

His words reduced me to tears. DO NOT covet. Yet, miss, my heart does.

"I've been in love before... ..."

2005-06-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

"I've been in love before. I've been in love before... ..."

So says the lyrics...

Tiredness almost overcoming me. But,

Thinking... pensive.

Of almost nothing. But felt that I shld be doing something. What, I'm not sure. Perhaps jus not willing to go to bed... yet...

Listening... LUSH.

Feeling... like going with the flow... for now...

God, I thank You for everything. Thank you for being here, all these while. Loving me, and us -- my spiritual family. I've always spent lovely moments with them. God, I pray that as I grow in You, I'd gain wisdom in my choices, in things to say and do. Lord, I pray that my parents will be saved. (No more bingeing!) I pray that I could have the passion and love sufficient for the lost to chase after them. I die to my nature -- so that I'd not be doing the things I know I shldn't do, and doing the things the Spirit yearns. Thank You, for interceding, for praying, and making up for my loss of words... Lord, I ask that I'd be providing worthy guidance to the youths I come in contact with. And that I'd be singing to you, forever and forever. Let that never change, and no temptations shall overcome me. I pray protection over my sister, Junkang,

I shall remember to call Daniel Goh tmr...
Hmm. Supposed to email SA... er... email her wat ah... *thinks thinks *blank blank**

my Dad, my Mum, my grandma, grandpa, Richard, Lixia, Junqi (Lixia's son -- to meet peeps under Dan Goh)

I pray for warm relations at work. (Lots of shiny, positive ppl!) That procedures and processes will be smooth-flowing. That I shall learn in my environment, more skills, not easier job. And trust in Dad's provisions. As I tithe.

New beginnings, how true.

BE a LIGHT-BEARER. And a warrior. For You, Daddy.

Cheers.

What price? Happiness?

2005-06-04T14:47:00.000+08:00

Ecclesiastes 2:26
To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Ecclesiastes 2:25-27 (in Context)

25for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

26To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Matthew 25:21
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

Matthew 25:20-22 (in Context)

20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

Matthew 25:23"
His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

Matthew 25:22-24 (In context)

22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.

I actually loved him. Let go. Let it go.

2005-06-03T01:25:00.000+08:00

Am starting work tmr... er, haahha -- later today.

So kewl. Working SC. HEE. Near my house somemore. :D Wat more can I ask for?

A bit tentative tho, but Lord will lead me thru... I give u praise, Lord.

Have been sharing the Gospel with Lixi...

Ephesians 4:29
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

-- Words that come out of one's mouth must be worthy enuff.

Proverbs 28: 13
He who conceals his sins does not prosper,
but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

-- As a leader, it shows a lot when yr self-worth and confidence comes from something deeper than knowing or thinking that you're always right, and you are able to apologise for your mistakes.

Proverbs 26: 13-16

13 The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road,
a fierce lion roaming the streets!"
14 As a door turns on its hinges,
so a sluggard turns on his bed.
15 The sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.
16 The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes
than seven men who answer discreetly.

-- If a person is not willing to work, he can find endless excuses to avoid it. But laziness is more dangerous than a prowling lion. The less you do, the less you want to do, and the more useless you become. To overcome laziness, take a few small steps toward change. Set a concrete, realistic goal. Figure out the steps needed to reach it, and follow those steps. Pray for strength and persistence. To keep your excuses from making you useless, stop making useless excuses.

Proverbs 27:6
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

-- Who would prefer a friend's cut to an enemy's kiss? Anyone who considers the source. A friend who has your best interest at heart may have to give you unpleasant advice at times, but you know it is for your own good. An enemy, by contrast, may whisper sweet words and happily send you on your way to ruin. We tend to hear what we want to hear, weven if an enemy is the one one who will say it. A friend's advice, no matter how painful, is much better.

As I came back from Lix's... heard this song on the taxi. Lovely song... as the chorus replayed in my head, and as the words formed in my mouth, and the tune in my throat... a strong feeling of nostalgia, and a realisation HIT me. It wasn't even our song, or anything.

He isn't even mine. evil. of. me.

Melody
歌手：陶吉吉 | 作曲：陶吉吉
填詞：陶吉吉, 娃娃 | 編曲：陶吉吉

終於明白你已變成回憶　
沒有言語能夠說明當別人問起
譜了一段旋律沒有句點　也無法再繼續

像埋伏在街頭的某種氣息
無意間經過把往日笑與淚勾起
忽然心痛的無法再壓抑　原來從未忘記

Melody　腦海中的旋律轉個不停　
愛過你　有太多話忘了要告訴你
Melody　無數動人音符在我生命　
愛過你　失去你我才知道要珍惜

當時無法為你寫的那首歌　
卻是我永遠的遺憾　當愛逝去
如果所有的錯重來一次　能否改變結局

終於落下休止符的那首歌　
我聽著每一個音符流過的回憶
為什麼在那麼多年以後　還不能說再見

Melody　腦海中的旋律如此熟悉　
愛過你　在我心裡只能輕輕嘆息
Melody　無數動人音符在我生命　
愛過你　失去你我才知道要珍惜

Melody oh Melody　我永遠不能忘記
你是多麼的美麗　讓這音樂一直不停響起
Melody oh Melody　我捨不得去忘記
我們快樂的過去　請別讓我從這夢境清醒

Melody　腦海中的旋律如此熟悉　愛著你　
求你聽我唱完這一段旋律　請不要離去

Melody　你是在我腦海不停的旋律　
愛過你　我的心裡只能無言嘆息
Melody　無數動人音符在生命裡　
愛過你　失去後我才知道要珍惜你

Let go. Let it go.

Proverbs 29: 1
A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy.

-- Making the same mistake over and over is an invitation to disaster. Eventually people have to face the consequences of refusing to learn. If their mistake is refusing God's invitations or rejecting His Commands, the consequences will be especially serious. God may have to turn them away. Make sure you are not hardening your heart.

It's a long long journey

2005-05-28T13:46:00.000+08:00

Finally, gotta meet Aile today...

Haha. She said she's seen me b4. At Selegie, when I went to see Ros n Codd.

Hmm. But would have to go thru another personality test b4 she can confirm me.

OOOh... I remember thinking -- Yes, filling this again for u, Daddy. And do my best.

So gonna wait for another call on Monday from their HR. By God's Grace.

But not gonna do anything rash b4 it's confirmed.

It's a Long Long Journey... as Jen sings...

Corrinne May - Journey
From the album "Fly Away"

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

Loved her sharing:
"the moon -- it's the satellite of love"
"to be connected to God" -- grow to our full potential
"photography -- how I see the world"
"crab is not crabby (...) to grow, we've to expose ourselves, be vulnerable."

High Five, Daddy!

hmm. no time to fix the ad banner yet... till can't see it properly... gotta shift down the ht.

8668, 8188-8-0

2005-05-27T12:36:00.000+08:00

My previous post certainly sounds pretty suicidal.

Hmm. Woke up to a call from SC's HR.

10am tmr with orig. certs.
8668 Aile

Well, anyway, things would have to be settled by June 2.

Can't imagine I could be approached at this age, and day and time...
Zhen said he looks like a slacker. Ha. Hmm. Camera sales, he says. At Sim Lim Sq.

True.

Rejected an interview this morning -- wow. wasn't she rude. maybe she's jus busy. who am I to judge anyway.

Maybe I shld jus stop the no. retention to my new no.
whahaha.

yeah... entertaining myself...

*daydreams*

Perhaps I shld go do my DISC again. And Fat Analysis report.

And bring my Mum for massage and spa.

Feel like going back to school -- well, MOE offered. I could be back in school for two years.

But kinda feel like time is running out.

But a MASTERS is certainly in order. Or shld I get my head permanently damaged too, some time down the line? Kinda tired of Dad saying "that person very smart, got this, got that, Masters, Phd"... ggrrrrrrr.

It's a piece of paper. Why would you like me to get it, cos it's gonna get me more money, is that what? Haiz.

If life is simply thus, then it's a raining-cats-and-dogs doom and gloom. *cue rain throwing themselves against panes*

Ouestion of the day: Wat would you think if someone offered to become a Christian, jus for you? *He had better never read this post*

Feathers RUFFLED

2005-05-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

Irritating "kids" on the TV -- singing "kissy kissy kissy kissy"...

Won't ppl jus let these teeny bopper stars grow up? Are fans all so shallow?

My gosh.

But, feathers were ruffled by something else:

Haiz. I don't know if I shld update my parents... or rather, my Dad, about my status. When I received the letter from MOE, I wanted to hide it.

"Why don't you get a mainstream job, and not think about money?"
"Well, cos you'd want money,"
"But you don't seem eager enough,"
"I'm not eager enough... why do you think that...? *I'm not eager enough!!!???*"
"..."

Don't think they understand. Do they?
Are they gonna be happy. They never seem happy with what I've achieved anyway. Like I'm a disgrace. Are they disgraces too? Am I simply fulfilling what they not fulfilled in life? WHAT DO U WANT?

I left my previous employment partly cos of surrounding circumstances, and my parents. Of cos, what is important is that I get more time with the Lord, and more time with the people I'd like to spend more time with -- granny, parents, friends.

That I won't let my parents down - probably the hurt still stems from what they have said so long ago - that I'm never good enough. Sometimes I'm just so sick... pls shut up. This is going to take a lot of work. Hard work. To F_R_I_E.

*House, by the lake*1
*Travelling, sharing abt Him and the Joy, learning people's cultures*
and a sparking *S*2... thot it stood for something. My work?

S stands for? Standchart, SPH, Stars in the sky. hahah.

Saw 1 during e G12 conference.
Saw 2 recently.

Would Aile call me soon? When?
MOE would need me to turn up on June 2 to accept offer.
SPH's writing test's May 31.
When she does call, would I have to say yes on the spot?

Not good.
I'm letting things get to me now. Not good.

Going for my run now. Maybe I just need some endorphins in my blood.

23.57, 10.01, 17.45

2005-05-20T00:20:00.001+08:00

Travel... n Living.

Nice travel, lifestyle feature -- haah. Don't think I can live with being a cook. I'd beat myself up too much abt the fats and sugar I'm putting it in to make it yummy-licious. *smiles the purple devil*

100 gms of sugar
300 gms of cream
500 gms of castor sugar...

will probably turn into

100 gms of guilt
300 gms of tears
500 gms of fats!

whhahaha.

Calv called me last nite (Wed nite)... at almost 12, 23.57... giving me a scare! Just b4 he goes for his shopping trip to BKK. "I've got bad news for you..." he started. Nice, jus b4 his trip...

Don't like how he puts me down. *shakes head. uh uh. shakes head, refusing to accept what he says as the truth* There is nothing wrong with being at peace. And there is definitely something wrong operating out of fear, and not love. :D

"NEXT - never trust a skinny cook" -- haha. wat amusing programme names.

Make money. Pay it forward. Travel. And most imptly, share with the unfortunate. Know my family. Praise the Lord for my fortunes. Spread the Word. Pray for the poor.

"Aile will call you tomorrow,"
"Really, how come u know?"
"My agent, Cind, told me."
"Said my boss likes you a lot,"
"But I don't think I've met her b4"
"Maybe you'd want to check with Cind first..."

Cind gave me a call. 10.01.
"She'll give you a call about late afternoon today".

Called Cind at 17.45.
"Has she called you yet?"

Is she going to call me tmr... or? Strange. Is this wat I'm waiting for?

Is this the 1-yr contract or the perm position? When do I start? Next week? Which branch would I be? Cisco? Peace?

Sure?

Yes. Trust, in His Hands.

I still like to write definitely. Maybe it'd be easier for me, if I simply pursue it as a past-time. Like volunteering. HA.

To start watching the CNN, conssttaannt nnnneeggaatiivee neewwssss? Or the CNBCs, the BBCs?

Talking movies. Write. Music. Advertising -- People. Banking.

Writing movies. Tap.tap.tap.tap.tap.tappity.tap.

Camera. Video Camera. FinalCut Pro. Imovie. A story. A voice. Your voices. Your images -- your pictures.

Monday Lifestyle 21.00, FilmArt 22.00 on ArtsCentral.

Tree top on MONDAY. Closed on a Monday -- out of all days... TRY NOT TO MAKE THINGS SO SAFE FOR US. AND PEOPLE SHLD TRY NOT TO COMPLAIN ABT THINGS BEING NOT SAFE. Catch-22.
Beautiful. Walking up Upp Thomson side of SICC with Roge n SzeS. Could almost imagine I'm somewhere I could see an unblemished horizon. And the lakeside, which the Lord revealed to me... bliss.

NEW YORK. HK. AUSTRALIA. GREECE. TURKEY. EGYPT.

By the way, gmail's down -- to send to myself, or not?

And to get my butt off the sofa now for my exercise... there's a reason too, why MSN is down. HAH!

Kota Tinggi May Day 2005

2005-05-04T12:47:00.000+08:00

Clambered up as fast as I could.
Losing stamina as the years go by.
Can't imagine not having a break after so many years.
The last many day break was spent in the clinic, then bed-rest...
Lost him/her finally forever, I'd never know.
Lord, forgive me for my transgression
I'm sorry.
Now sitting here.
Feeling almost strange to be resting.
Not used to not doing something.
Haha.
At least I could squat today.
Many fabulous pictures of the climb up KT, and the magnificent waterfalls.
So cool. So cooling.
Eyes see. The fireflies, the rain, the stars, so many I can't even tell where's Orion.
The heart feels... at one, the greens, the living creatures.
Shared with cell So, El, We, that I fear that I might turn out to be like my Dad.
Scary. Very.
No, don't be. They said.
Trust, in His Provisions.
Trust.
At Peace, at Ease.
Doing what I can.
Don't want to be doing nothing for too long.
Read, pack up.
Pray and love the Lord.
Simple wishes.
Big, almost greedy, dreams. :P

2005-04-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

Incredible day.

Wrote my resignation letter. Packed it in an envelope.

Trust Daddy upstairs with his provisions. :) Doesn't matter where... just would like to spend more time with Him and the people that he would like us to spend time with.

Standchart 2nd interview today. Supposed to see Aileen Wong the Manager next week. :)

MINDEF -- counsellor. hmm. let's go for the personality test first. HEH.

watching ppl. as they go abt. waiting for mrt. brushing the ends of her hair against her bf's neck. in a crowded mrt. standing next to each other in the middle of an empty street. glowing into each other. :)hands interlinked. Me -- quietly smiling in my heart. Praying for them...

A tune in my mind. And a soaring heart.

AT PEACE, finally. VISIONS revealed. Kewl.

2005-04-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

Really enjoyed myself hanging out with all of CJ, A, R, and M. Am grateful. There is a wholeness, completeness. The simple little things bring joy -- ppl's faces, voices, expressions, the way they stand, even. Interact with each other. So unique. A beautiful creation. Peace. I have no hurry to get anywhere, be anything. Visions revealed. WOW...

Million Dollar Baby deserves the Millions, Billions.

2005-03-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

Powerful, powerful film. So real, and sincere.
Would u rather have had a chance to sizzle or fizzle into oblivion with a mediocre existence?

"Author: jotix100 from New York

If anyone had doubts about the genius of Clint Eastwood, they should run, not walk, to see "Million Dollar Baby", perhaps the best movie that came out of Hollywood is past year.

Mr. Eastwood has that rare quality in choosing an odd story to bring to the screen. With this film he accomplishes what could be, perhaps, the best movie about boxing in history. In the first place, the story by F. X. Toole, in which the movie is based, is an odd choice. We have seen, so far, men boxers, but there is a world out there where women boxers compete in this sport that is not well known, or not commonly seen. The adaptation by Paul Haggis is excellent.

"Million Dollar Baby" has a rhythm of its own, seldom seen in boxing formula pictures. Thanks to Tom Stern almost black and white cinematography, this sordid world of second class gyms in the poor areas of the inner city, makes the film more interesting in its texture. Enhancing it all is the great musical score that Mr. Eastwood, a jazz enthusiast, has created. Music has always complimented Mr. Eastwood's work, but never in such a way as in this movie.

If you haven't seen the film, please stop reading now.

Frankie Dunn, is a man who has trained boxing champions. He is a man at odds with himself. He has demons within him that are tearing away at his soul. We watch him going to mass on a daily basis, but does that qualify him as a devout Catholic? Not according to Father Horvak, who sees a troubled soul in search of redemption.

Frankie's letters comes back, returned from a daughter that wants nothing to do with him. Frankie, at the beginning of the film, loses the services of one his better boxers because a richer competitor is willing to pay the fighter much more. Frankie keeps the older Eddie "Scrap-Iron" Dupris employed in the gym because he feels guilty in having let this former boxer down at the highest point of Scrap's career.

Into this world comes Maggie Fitzgerald. She is a young woman who wants to make it as a fighter; she comes from a white trash background and everything is against her. The only reason she has been allowed in the all-male gym is because she has paid six months worth of membership. We watch Maggie as she struggles on her own without any help from Frankie, the man she would like to interest in coaching her. Frankie realizes there is potential in this young woman, who he sees on a daily basis practicing, and he relents. Maggie proves she follows his instructions well. Then we watch her progress as she wins fight after fight until the million dollar fight with the vicious title holder.

The ironic twist toward the end of the movie arrives out of nowhere; it shakes us up because it was totally unexpected. It makes Frankie and Maggie become father and daughter. Because of the guilt he feels in his own life, Frankie does the right thing in accepting the responsibility of the situation.

The ending is the only thing that feels a bit manipulative in the film, although it's handled with a lot of taste, as it would have been worse in the hands of another, less capable director. The only other complain is that Mr. Eastwood speaks in a whisper, which distracts from what is going on, as we strain our ears to catch every nuance of the brilliant dialog. Also, the voice over by Morgan Freeman's character is at times, unintelligible.

This is a film totally dominated by Clint Eastwood. As an actor, he brings to the role total credibility as the tormented soul inside Frankie. Hilary Swank makes a brilliant Maggie, the ambitious girl that gets much more than what she bargained for. Ms. Swank has the best moment of her career after her work in "Boys Don't Cry". Working with the right elements, Ms. Swank is an actress that works with little gestures to achieve her input in the character she is playing.

Morgan Freeman is excellent as the beaten Scrap, a man who "could have been a contender". He underplays this character with sensational results. Brian O'Byrne, a theater actor who has been seen in two important plays this year in the New York stages, makes an impression as Father Hovark, who seems to understand Frankie. Margo Martindale is convincing as Maggie's mother.

Sometimes it takes a lot for a film to be good. All the right elements were gathered by Clint Eastwood for this movie. It makes one wonder what will his next project be, or if he can surpass the milestone he created with "Million Dollar Baby"."

What do you know about God, what do you know about prayers?

2005-03-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

(I wrote -- during cell, didn't know I can list down this many... mind was blank initially -- and stressed when another cell member wrote down so many. :P)

God:

*He's the Saviour, the Redeemer
*Trinity -- Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit
*performs miracles
*lets us choose -- free will
*His Grace doesn't come from doing good works
*He is the Almighty, there is nothing he can't do
*He loves us unconditionally
*His answers are Yes, No, Wait.

Prayer:

*prayer pleases the Lord
*prayers can work even after the event has passed
*prayers bring forth miracles
*faith put power into our prayers
*prayers breaks down demonic influences in the spiritual realm

Proverbs 3:5 Do not rely on your own insights.
Proverbs 28:26 He who trusts in his own mind is a fool.
Luke 22:42 Not my will, but thine, be done.
TOOK AUTHORITY OVER SATAN
James 4:7 Resist the devil and he will flee from you
John 10:3-4 & 27 His sheep hear His Voice, know His Voice, and follow Him.
Psalm 32: 8 I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (becos the fear of the Lord is upon me, I obey).

Seek means to AIM AT AND STRIVE AFTER.

This time I DANCE!

2005-03-13T19:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Tama,

How are you? I hope this finds you well. I'm a 26-yr-old from Singapore, in South East Asia. Wonder if you've been here before.
I came across your book as I was browsing and picked up the book as the word "danced" leapt up to me, urging me to take a second look.
Your book speaks volumes to my soul... feeding it, rousing it from a deep sleep.
I am caught now -- pending a career change -- as I do know what I do NOT want. I have become ineffective, as I'm so busy climbing the wrong wall.
As I go through exercises in "Beginning with an end in mind" -- I see my parents, sister, work associates and church mates seeing me as a "sincere, true, dependable, committed provider and a God-lover". But I do not know if what I do to feed my soul will be enough to be a provider.
I've yearn to be a copywriter for advertising. I do not even know if it's what I should embark on. Write for a living.
Yet another part of me says be practical, go work in a bank, sales. Security, money scream out at me due to a fear of lack.

What should I choose? Walk my path or provide and burn in hell? I do not like sounding wishy-washy, but it seems to be the case now.

Please advise.

Sincerely,
Sophia
p.s. Please revert to my email when available? Thanks so much.

Music makes my spirits soar (I hope you dance -- Lee Ann Womack)

2005-03-06T13:09:00.000+08:00

Ode to my family -- The Cranberries -- reminds me of staying at Blk 30 Marine Terrace, my first kiss, drizzle on the beach... and VJ being minutes away, but still late.

Hahah.

"My perfect day would be one that doesn't require you to get out of your pyjamas. The best day that I had recently was Thanksgiving. I literally got a house full of people, kids, dogs, and I got out of bed and started cooking in my pyjamas all day. You only take a shower when the food is cooling and you change into clothes for dinner. You'd have a coffee in the pyjamas, check on the turkey, and play with the dogs in the garden... that was an incredible day. It was chaos, but it was an organised chaos (chaos that causes your spirits to soar, yeah! FUN, FUN, FUN) You don't have to be the entertainer or host. Everyone has their own things to do. And at the end of the day, you have a glass of wine to tell yourself it's a job well done. That to me is the ultimate day," Bullock discloses.

"Why is getting married and having children being the pinnacle? Why is that the goal for women? Why is that the last step in life? Why is that if we don't have that we have somehow failed in life? It may be a biological urge, but do people have to listen to it? You can adopt. Too many people are having children that they shouldn't be having them. Children always get harmed and they always suffer."

Bullock takes a moment and says frankly, "No child will be borned to me that wasn't borne in a partnership out of love and with two parents that are going to be great father and mother regardless of wat happens in life. There are so many unwanted children in the world. If I have the opportunity to adopt a brood of them, I will definitely do that. I'm not going to damage any child because of my selfishness."

Seems that I've always remembered that session during service years ago while I was still in Uni... to adopt, even though I'd love to have my own kids. I love kids. And of cos I'm afraid of mixing own and adopted! Hmmmm. Guess it's still too early to say or think that.

*in italics are my thots*

Dissed.

2005-03-04T18:29:00.000+08:00

Disappointments in human beings. People whom I believe to be good turned out to be evil.

Conniving selfish liars. Misplaced hope, I suppose. Thankfully I'm not emotionally attached. Just disappointed. Don't think I rem how love feels like anymore, I think. Numb. Jaded. But in another way... I guess tt's a saving grace for me -- not being emotionally attached.

Certain people ought to be shot

2005-03-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

I think I've forgotten how to be pissed. Or mad. It's like I gave up on that birthright. To think I used to called "Sergeant" at home, cos I get mad and scream.

Maybe I shld be more like tt, and learn to get back at people. And the games they play. Maybe certain ppl simply ought to be shot dead. Capital punishment.

S is a married man

2005-03-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

S is a married man who's still living with his very nice wife n lovely children.Don't be the 3rd party.He's cheated on his wife b4.Check with people who know both

NEW THings, NEW Life!

2005-02-20T01:43:00.000+08:00

REsign. PerMed.

I didn't expect A would want to leave too. He built this up in two years. But I'm totally drained. Totally. Totally.

N was into one of her moods today. "Just give your 5-day notice and stop behaving like a baby," I wanted to say. Why am I so different - maybe I jus don't want to rock the boat in the office -- so I jus keep my temper at home. If it's not smooth, just talk it out. Do you have to throw your tantrums?

I look forward to getting my life back. Balanced. With friends, get-togethers w/o having to think about schedules for tmr, doing my reading, chillout, have tea in mid-day, a cheesecake/chocolate cake... pilates -- exercises... blading... into the sunset...

Was so tired driving... wasn't focusing very much... and praying nothing would happen. Hahah. And I guess clients don't really look out for you -- it's me, me, me, me. :p

INTO THE SUNSET -- haven't given up on the idea of having this place which overlooks a pastures that goes on for miles and miles, and nothing in the horizon... that would be wow.

First time in my life I got a perm... not sure if it's nice. Still getting used to it. But definitely cos it's different from all the ironed heads out there. And got a sculpting lotion for it... and it smells of him... ai ya... wonder if he thinks of me. Wanted to not think of him... yet. . . . . . .

Just watched Sausalito. Maggie Cheung is absolutely beautiful and holds herself with such poise.

"Sausalito is located just north of the Golden Gate Bridge, on the south-eastern tip of Marin County. Sausalito was incorporated in 1893, and named by 18th century Spanish explorers for the "little willow" trees (Saucelito) which were found, in abundance, on the banks of its streams. Sausalito covers a mere two and one half miles; a small town of only 7,500 residents boasting spectacular waterfront views."

And I still want to visit San Francisco.

Eyes teared again. I don't think I've had a relationship like that since... 10 yrs ago? Probably never trusted enough again. Then again, if I had trusted enough, I would have been hurting worse. Hahah. It's a non-issue now, anyway. Thank God, really.

Need sleep. Want sleep. Appt again tmr morning... argh.

Yeah, look forward to getting my life back. Went for another interview with an agency... for a bank.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

me and you

2005-02-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

An amiable Christian who loves conversations, is warm, hardworking, likes being different, and concerned about being financially free. Likes travelling to learn about different cultures (not so much the shopping). Loves reading and writing -- was working as a reporter with schools previously. Music: Loves acid jazz/chillout -- Hotel Costes (Stephane Pompougnac), Dido. Movie -- (something intelligent that I can learn something from) Billy Elliot, LOTR, Pretty Woman, The Incredibles.

Christian, Charitable, Compassionate, Has Character, Courteous, Confident, Creditable -- 7 Cs. :P Likes the outdoors, pool, and travelling. Manages finances well and well-read. Plans, and knows what he wants out of life.

8678 -- tt's it!

2005-02-14T01:17:00.000+08:00

I like this no.

S oso remarked it's a nice no. when I gave her a lift to S'goon to take bus to her fren's place at Avila.

A once said "78" it's his no.

8225, 8678. Both car numbers. Nice gift.

And no more "jumping" on the nos. this time... :)

Stolen! WHo in tHe RIghT mINd would TaKE mINe?!

2005-02-14T00:55:00.000+08:00

As I turned to look, I stopped... as my bag wasn't on the couch anymore.

No, it wasn't on the floor, no, it wasn't behind the couch... there was no behind. Who took it?

"Did u see a bag? A beige one, quite big, it was on the couch just now."

"Did u see a bag? Here, just now? No, it's ok. Thank you."

"Did u see a bag? Didn't?"

M found me and asked where's my bag, I said I don't know. CJ's jus arrived to IndoChine.

Walked to the entrances. "Did you see anyone walk out with a lady's bag, yes. Beige. Quite big. I just lost my bag."

Met the manager. "Someone saw two guys walk out with a lady's bag. Was there a bottle in it?

"Thank you, where are they now?"

1am
Two guys detained. No news of bag.
Went to watch CCTV. Saw two guys carrying bag.
Called police. Went back to IndoChine. Danced somemore.
No news of bag.
Searched building ourselves. A and CJ went 4th floor.
M, security personnel n I went carpark.
Someone found bag on same floor, not basement.
Cannot touch it. Needs to be dusted for prints.
Oops. I touched the cards. Even tho A said I shld have kept them away as evidence.
Waited for inspectors to arrive. Waited. Waited. Waited. Hungry.
Went to McDonald's @ Shaw for supper...
4am
Recorded statement.
5am
End of statement recording... the three angels patiently waited... tho they are really tired themselves. A isn't feeling well either.
5.30am
Reached home... drove thankfully... it's Sat morning... there's still work to be done. argh. catch some sleep. catch some sleep.
7.15am
Gets out of house...

ALL OF MY DAYS

2005-02-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

Artist Lyrics: Australia Hillsongs
Song Lyrics: All Of My Days
Album Lyrics:

Proclaim Your awesome power
Tell of mighty deeds
Declare Your future kingdom
Of everlasting peace

And my eyes they look unto You always
And I am captured by Your Majesty

All of my days
I will sing of Your greatness (Praise You, I will. All my life.)
All of my days
I will speak of Your grace
All of my days
I will tell of Your wonderous love
Your love in my life
Your love

All Your works will praise You
Your children bless Your name
We speak of all Your goodness
We walk in fields of grace

A typical day

2005-02-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

600 Wakes up, wash up, sometimes breakfast on the move

645 Gets out of house b4 the rest are out of bed :P

730 Reaches office, prints schedule, prepares keys, haggles with ops team, haggles for schedules and staff, Ops Manager gives out keys, schedule written on board, stores and laundry and keys given out, haggles with logistics, locks office

830-845 Moves out of office

900-915 Operations work commences (Starts a house at Hougang)

1020 Helps out at Sengkang (Ironing)
(msgs, calls incessantly for change of slots, clients late, clients not in, clients not awake, feedback -- "u must take a look at this!", calls from office)

1245 Helps out yet another (More ironing)
(More msgs, calls incessantly for change of slots, clients late, clients not in, clients not awake, feedback -- "u must take a look at this!", and calls from office)
Hurried lunch on feet
(Calls for help from staff)

1500 Finishes up 2nd house -- gets dropped off to travel to Simei on my own
(In the meantime, more calls, and calls from me to change slots)

1600 Reaches Simei (commences cleaning of windows) -- Client asks if I have shares in the company. Haha ahaaha. Cleaned living room's. MB's small window, Kid's room.

1720 (LATE!!!) Rushes down to Havelock for court hearing.
Harried two pcs of bread on the move, jus b4 getting on MRT.

1800 Reaches City Hall MRT (thank goodness A picked me up, or else die! A passes me court documents)

1815 (LATE!!!) Attends hearing -- pompous self-important characters, seemingly. Never fails to put a "smile" on my face... I think I'd be bored if I've to be stuck in the courts? The same ppl asking to put yr bag into the scanner, the same ppl calling your name, the same ppl collecting your documents... It's a weird kind of funny, really.

1840 Done with the courts [a slight feel of being free b4 being brought back to earth -- promised a client to bring keys to his place for his Korean fren staying at Swissotel (not too bad, not so far away)]

(HAIZ, supposed to go look for an upholstery b4 CNY cos the staff left a mark on it. I'm so gonna be killed? IN time to get it for NEW YEAR???)

1900 Reaches hotel, got to the wrong lobby. Couldn't see them. "WHERE ARE YOU?" Staff calls. Haggles somemore.
(Client calls from overseas to make sure I've met them. His fren calls trying to see where I was. I can't put down the phone. 10 missed calls)

1930 Gets to the right lobby. Calls them. They are at the clock at the lobby. Finally. Met them. Client calls. Client worried about them. Fren and kids not supposed to check out till later, but they had just checked out TODAY. Client asked for help to bring them back to Sengkang where he stays. "Don't worry, charge me for your time," They don't speak no English. One of them speaks good Mandarin. He's studying in China. I had to check if they've got money on them. I didn't.

1955 Waits for maxi-cab. Thank goodness we didn't have to wait 10-40 min like the previous passenger. It's a $35 (omigosh) per trip.

2025 Reaches Sengkang. Brought them upstairs. Explained all 7 keys. Boils water. Shows them rooms, aircon, TV remote (doesn't seem connected), and how to wash clothes (but no Dynamo, tho there's a detergent for the dish washer)

2100 Leaves... calls them from downstairs. Informed them about 7-11 opposite their place. Tempted by food. Bought a jellied drink, and two packets of nuts (Is this dinner??? Don't recall... )
SUPER Harried meal on cab on way to Pasir Ris. Appt at 2130.

(Don't need to go back Joo Chiat to settle the upholstery liao. Someone just kill me.)

2130 Reaches Blk 214. Oops. Shld be blk 241. Checks map. Walks. Walks. Walks. Messages client that I'd be there shortly.

2150 Reaches Blk 241. Checks msg. Client had brought her son to the doctor. Got upstairs. "Are you in the area?" "Plastic in finger, might get infected. Doctor referred to A&E, can you wait, might take another hour." Looks at watch. It's 2200.

2200 Got downstairs. Calls client. Makes another appt on Sat. 2nd one. 1st is Eden Tampines @ 1530 Sat, 2nd is 241 Pasir Ris @1730. Hails cab. Too tired... Broke!

2226 HOme. With a lot of things not done... *Shagged*

DO not be tempted

2005-02-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

It seems rather nice to have someone looking out for u, picking u up and having the profile of someone whom u'd choose to end up with...

But still, would u commit to someone u know u do not like?

That is the question.

Now I'm killing myself...

2005-01-31T23:30:00.000+08:00

I see myself in the mirror -- I see a distracted shell, a mindless soul... gray where it used to be white... and food in front of me.

Food scares me, yet draws me. I'm not even hungry. Think I shld have to be treated for addiction...

Thot I got rid of this OLD fren, but it's back to accompany me again, when I'm stressed, when I feel alone. *sad*

Food heals, food kills. It has been shown scientifically that eating more than we shld shortens our life spans.

Liting:

dear Father, I pray that you give Sophia strength, to overcome her weaknesses, for you've said, "your strength is made perfect in our weaknesses"
Father, we know that it is not easy and we always fail. And we wonder why we even bother...
Father, you have set the standards so high, that it is so difficult sometimes.
But, Lord, help us not do everything out of ritualistic routines
But, help us to do it out of love for you, because you have first loved us.
Father, help us to receive your love, and know that even as we are not perfect, you do not condemn us.
Because, you said, you did not come for the righteous, but you came for the sinners
So, dear Father, lavish Sophia with your love, fill her with your strength, that as she trains her eyes on you, you will remove the obstacles
And, Sophia, out of you, will flow rivers of living water!
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Mum is trying to kill me...

2005-01-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

Seriously, if I am covered for more insurance -- I would think Mum was trying to kill me...

First I woke to 16 degrees cold air blowing at my face... and power tripped again (becos of the sttttooopid dish washer) when it could be prevented, and had a basket falling on me cos I went to flip the blue switch...

Arrrggghhh.

29/01/05
New wine for the new generation

John 2:11
"This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him." where Jesus made new wine from water.

Jesus shows that He takes orders from God alone -- He gently chides Mary for involving him but he meets the need for wine quietly as it's a disgrace to run out of wine. As he turns the water into wine -- it signifies the change of era that Jesus came to institutionalise.

John calls them "signs".

Signs in Greek is "semeion" which denotes "acts that call for the exercise of supernatural power" and with that, it would "force" a decision to believe or disbelieve.

1. Jesus came to transform.

a) He transforms our MISTAKES into MIRACLES, obstacles into opportunities.

There was once a boy who lost his right arm, he became very despondent. But one day he wanted to learn JUDO, thus his mother was all for it, and even sent him to a judo school overseas. Once there, even tho he was without his right arm, the master sensei taught him.
1st day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 2nd day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 3rd day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 4th day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 5th day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move.
Soon, the boy asked, isn't he supposed to learn other things, but the sensei asked him to be patient, and taught the boy as such.

Soon, the boy started competing and won competitions, first locally, regionally, all by using his KILLER MOVE. Then, he was entered into an international competition, where he easily reached finals. He faced his toughest opponent, two heads taller. While being thrown around, he kept his cool, and waited for his chance. When it did, he executed his KILLER MOVE, and pinned his opponent down and WON. The boy was delirious with joy, and his mum wore her smile with pride and gratitude.

Finally, the boy proceeded to ask his sensei how is the KILLER MOVE so potent... first, his sensei said, he has learnt the killer move well. Second, for the opponent to break this move, is to grab his right arm...

MORAL OF THE STORY:
It could be the biggest mistake we have made, but if we shld be willing, and give it back to Him, he could turn it into our greatest advantage.

b) Transforms our religiosity/rituals into reality
wine -- symbol of inner joy, turning external rituals into inner joys.

He came to institute a new era of GRACE. The new covenant of grace doesn't make us lawless, the law-giver now lives IN us, which is even more demanding.

ie. Previously we would have sinned if we committed the ACT of adultery, now it would be sinful to simply think of it.

Proverbs 4:23 "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life (New American Standard Bible)"

A religion of the heart. It's not concerned with protocol, but purity. Not so much with precision, but passion. Not with exact programme of how things are run, but power of His Words.

c) Transforms Scarcity into Abundance
As He transforms water into wine, he did so not simply one jar, but six jars, which will probably yield about 180 gallons of wine. Since the wedding is at the tail-end, the guests do not need that much, but He is an extravagant giver.

1 Kings 17
The Widow of Zarephath

8 Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, 9"Go now to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and live there; for I have commanded a widow there to feed you." 10So he set out and went to Zarephath. When he came to the gate of the town, a widow was there gathering sticks; he called to her and said, "Bring me a little water in a vessel, so that I may drink." 11As she was going to bring it, he called to her and said, "Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand." 12But she said, "As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of meal in a jar, and a little oil in a jug; I am now gathering a couple of sticks, so that I may go home and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die." 13Elijah said to her, "Do not be afraid; go and do as you have said; but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterwards make something for yourself and your son. 14For thus says the LORD the God of Israel: The jar of meal will not be emptied and the jug of oil will not fail until the day that the LORD sends rain on the earth." 15She went and did as Elijah said, so that she as well as he and her household ate for many days. 16The jar of meal was not emptied, neither did the jug of oil fail, according to the word of the LORD that he spoke by Elijah.
Elijah Revives the Widow's Son 17 After this the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, became ill; his illness was so severe that there was no breath left in him. 18She then said to Elijah, "What have you against me, O man of God? You have come to me to bring my sin to remembrance, and to cause the death of my son!" 19But he said to her, "Give me your son." He took him from her bosom, carried him up into the upper chamber where he was lodging, and laid him on his own bed. 20He cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, have you brought calamity even upon the widow with whom I am staying, by killing her son?" 21Then he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, let this child's life come into him again." 22The LORD listened to the voice of Elijah; the life of the child came into him again, and he revived. 23Elijah took the child, brought him down from the upper chamber into the house, and gave him to his mother; then Elijah said, "See, your son is alive." 24So the woman said to Elijah, "Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in your mouth is truth."

Notice the "words of scarcity" spoken by the widow, and pay heed to the "words of abundance" spoken by the prophet.

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

Ephesians 1:7-8
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace" (NIV)
"Christ sacrificed his life's blood to set us free, which means that our sins are now forgiven. Christ did this because God was so kind to us. God has great wisdom and understanding"(Contemporary English Version)
"In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor" (Amplified Bible)

Wat do u remember most about your childhood?

2005-01-30T17:00:00.000+08:00

Breakthru! *Daddy upstairs is really good to me. Actually helped me find matching wooden curtain rod holders. My goodness. "God is good, all the time..."*

I love my parents. I do, just tt they are so exasperating at times -- last nite I couldn't help it but close the door-- cos Daddy kept complaining about wat is happening at work.

Attitude is so important. My attitude towards my work too, but I'm really just so tired. And poor from working. Poor mentally, penny-wise, spirits-wise. And feeling this extreme lack. A stronghold in my family... to suffer from lack for all these years?? Had this lack for erm, almost as long as I remember... 1985, 86?? Did someone curse us? HAhahahaa. Just woke from a 12-hr sleep. Still tired. Can't really open my eyes... Think I'd rather be studying or something. :P *Is that why ppl spend so much time in school, getting MBAs or research??? :P No offence to all my frens furthering your studies, I look up to you guys a lot, cos I know it's not easy. :) I would love to be able to do tt. :D*

I was wiping the floors with the wet MagicClean when the smell triggered the reminiscence of times when I was an only child for six years. Thank goodness for that or else I'll be tt much neglected and Dad and Mum used babywipes exclusively FOR ME!! ME! :P

*It's a freezing 16 deg... cos the aircon outside is spoilt till the repairman repairs it NEXT WEEK. and our aircon is on to full blast to "contribute" to the living room... BRRRRRR. I woke from the cold to rush to loo and put on sweater and long pants... STILL COLD. Mum says it's comfortable outside in the living room... I KNOE... but I can't type properly in here... and my nose is running away*

Talking to Mum and Dad just now... recognised that Dad was sort of neglected as a child, so tend to air grievances cos he felt owed. *Breakthru!* I guess awareness can do a lot. Now I'm not so much looking at my Dad complaining per se, but the reason he's been doing it, maybe he doesn't want to, but it's HIS form of release. I guess I do tt too, to some extent. But not as bad, so thus I beseech parents to be again, please LAVISH loving care and attention to your kids, or not have them b4 u ruin their lives forever, or have them ruin other ppl's lives forever.

*I must be sneezing for a reason... activity creates heat. haha. so that I can stand up to the cold. COLD COLD COLD... Snnneezzzee.*

Bought the book -- 'Seek God and Live' - Yes. Tt's wat life should be. Shall be. Would be. Me and my family. Kids in tow. FUn. Sharing, Loving GOd. Haha.

*Hmm. Someone jus logged in on MSN -- Basic Instinct, who's tt? Let's see... Hmm. C jus logged in too. Not going out on a Sunday...? Hmm. *

*MAN, it's really )&$(*#&*(&$# cold. Thot I got transported back to the NUS library. Typing on the ancient green-texted computers, searching for some long-lost text... i jus lost my fingers i think... got to find the aircon controller liao*

Yesterday's message -- nowadays the messages never fail to speak to me -- last week's too.

22/1/05 New Beginnings

Lamentations
3:22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
(or "His Loving Kindness never ceases, compassion never fails.")
3:23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

It reveals His 1. Posture (towards us), 2. Provision, 3. Promise and 4. Prescription

1. Posture
a) that we are in His Favour -- His loving kindness never ceases -- never stops, never fails. Everytime you need it, it's there. And it never gets used up, nor worn out.
b) Compassion -- His Love, He focuses on us with love, with tender mercy, like a mother looking on her newborn baby.

2. Provision
"they are new every morning" -- they are always there for you to draw upon.
He has made available a new slate every morning. It's fresh, it's clean -- He will not remember the past -- He Lets Go.
Ephesians 4:26 -- "Let not the sun go down on your wrath". Do not hold grudges against your spouse over the night.

3. Promise
"I receive your new beginnings for today!"
He will NOT carry over your sins. He is READY to forget, to forgive. There are 365 opportunities a year to start anew.

4. Prescription
Leviticus 26:10 -- "And ye shall eat old store, and bring forth the old because of the new."
a) Accept His Grace for each New Day.
b) Allove Him to make a New Day, don't carry things over from yesterday.
c) Appropriate His Provision every day.

I pray for Wisdom, Creativity, Peace (for the world and peace of mind) and Love. Help me learn, come to you every day, and discipline.

Would you go for Liposuction?

2005-01-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

Met up with some of my friends yesterday... and one of them said she just went for liposuction... for her arms, she said she hated arms to be flabby.

Spent 3k on them in BKK. Wow. Another one of our frens started laughing -- tt she's the first among all his frens to like go get it done. I'm like still wow. I think it's very brave to go do it...

And idiotic W started grilling me abt D... strange. Now I do not know if they did it out of fun, or did D really tell W something. No matter. I have more pressing matters at hand. Like my binge-eating. Gross. haha. Need to remove the stress from my life -- or else life is gonna be sucked out of me, even b4 I get to know wat holds for.

I'm just too tired...

Amen.

Does evil exist?

2004-12-30T10:10:00.000+08:00

A university professor challenged his students with this question,

"Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied, "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything?," the professor asked.

"Yes, sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil."

The student became quiet before such an answer.

The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"

"Of course," replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.

"Absolute zero (-460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong, sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name --- Albert Einstein.

Warning systems are inadequate... but for places where it is in place, did the relevant authorities inform, or did not as they were afraid of its impact on tourism? What about now? Is it greed, absence of God, then that created such a disaster for probably more than 77k of people who have perished?

AND, FENGSHUI... how much do we believe? Does it exist?
I need all the grace I can get... ...

23.12.2004 AD

2004-12-23T18:03:00.000+08:00

it's already Christmas' Eve's Eve... it's the 23.12.2004.

Time has truly flew by. And that's gonna be the case, no matter how industrious or how lazy one is. Might as well be industrious.

Having a gathering later with my former cell group. Jaime. Yen. Angela and Yixian, married... (forgot to attend wedding, I ought to be shot) Shawn and Mian...

My goodness...

As thots and memories re-surfaces,
eyes moisten.

I'm glad i sent that email... when I saw Y at Sheng Siong just now, I almost couldn't recognise her. Nose stud, big hoop earrings. Wow. I must have appeared like plain Jane. I think she was the most conservative of us all when we were back in NUS. Incredible. I need a make-over. :P

Another gathering I would enjoy myself at. M's was fun! Hee.

Sentosa was fun too. But I must ask Sis to teach me volleyball liao. Too many mistakes to frustrate myself and others with.

Set up a business. Tt's what A said, in fact, he said he wants to set up two. And a speaker, tt's wat he'd wanna be.

And I'm still wondering about my personal project -- from interviewing regular people -- who have their hopes, their dreams, their future, their achievements. Soundbites. Vids. That would be fun. And help them realise. Isn't it true that when we write down our goals and dreams, it helps us fulfill them?

And a wanderlust to fulfill. Travel as I interview the world, perform? haha
Authentic Happiness by Seligman... captured my imagination... will I ever walk that path again?

Earth, Wind, Rain, Fire!

2004-12-15T21:47:00.000+08:00

All that is you need to succeed, you have it. You just need to harness those resources and put it to play.

Ill again...

2004-12-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'm quite ill... can't almost think straight now. haha.

Did another event yesterday. Pretty fruitful, I must say -- witnessed the first solemnization as far as I'm concerned. It is pretty touching. Tho I didn't cry. Wasn't touching enuff to cry. And it does include quite a lot of things to do after marriage. haha.

A few interesting things about the wedding. A young Indonesian bride married to a dashing young man. Makes me think of one of my staff. Wat is life? Both married Singaporeans, but with very different consequences, I believe.

It doesn't seem like an equal marriage, hmmm... perhaps that's what certain men want. Simple as that. And some women are looking for that kind of a security. I guess I am too... haha. Just like why M gave up on her bf, cos he's simply too "nuah" for her. :P Yeah, he must be someone smarter, more powerful, and have bigger dreams than I do! I'd be glad. Who doesn't want a perfect man? Hmmm, who doesn't strive to be one, anyway? Haha. So they shld be all around the place, isn't it? Is tt warped logic or wat. ha!

This appeared in TODAY today:
MOULDER OF ROMANTIC DREAMS

Long before a teenage girl finds her first real boyfriend or ever falls in love, her attitude towards men is quietly being shaped by her father. I'm one of the many psychologists who believe that the dad and daughter relationship sets the stage for all future romantic involvements. If a young woman's father is an alcoholic and a bum, she'll spend her life trying to find a man who can meet the needs he never recognised in her heart. If he's warm and nurturing, she'll look for a love to equal him. If he thinks she's beautiful and feiminine, she'll be inclined to see herself that way. But, if he rejects her as unattractive and uninteresting, she's likely to carry self-esteem problems into her adult years. (How true!)
I've also observed that a woman's relationship with her future husband is significantly influenced by the way she preceived her father's authority. If whe was overbearing and capricious during her earlier years, she may be inclined to precipitate power struggles with her husband throughout married life (How terrible!).
But if the dad blended love and discipline in a way that conveyed strength, she may be more confortable with a give and take marriage where the reins of leadership are not contested. So much of what goes into marriage starts with a girl's father. That's why it behooves us as dads to give out best effort to the raising of those kids around our feet.

********************If any dads and dads-to-be are reading this, PPPLLLEEAASSE make sure you are well-equipped, or you might scar a child for life.********************

Maybe that's why I haven't found someone. Cos I'd be looking for someone like my Dad?(GOD FORBID!!!) Or it's simply cos there are not many like my Dad around (Hallelujah!) Either way, I lose. :P Or maybe all the ones I've found have a common streak -- abandonment. They see something they don't quite like, they run. A relationship takes a few things to grow and mature. Love creates the initial spark. Commitment and respect make it last. When some of these are missing, the brew simply refuses to cook. It's worse than flogging a dead horse. Love is Magic. Jesus is Life.

Was at a client's place today and she requested us to help her throw away her old cotton bathroom sandals. I remarked that it's still new, maybe could take it home. ( I wasn't serious...) My staff (all of them older than I am) was aghast at that thot... "I'm sure you don't want to take someone else's leftovers," That set me thinking -- yeah, why should I settle to be second best? It simply doesn't make sense. I'd be doing myself a disservice. Very much so.

Another interesting article from TODAY's Focus on the Family on Dec 9:
THE CLASS OF '65

In the mid-1960s, Time magazine selected the senior class of Palisades High School in Southern California as a fodus for its cover story entitled, "Today's Teenager".

These young men and women lived in one of the wealthiest school districts in America and their parents inclusded many of the nation's rich and famous. Time said they "stood on the fringe of a golden era as they left high school and headed for college."

10 years later, two members of that classs, Michael Medved and David Wallechinsky wrote a book entitled WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO THE CLASS OF '65? Their follow-up study was striking. Their former classmates, far from entering a golden era, had been plagued by personal tragedy and emotional unrest. Drug abuse, rebellion, sexual irresponsibility, divorce, and even prison time were common for that group. Many were still lost and unprepared for the game of life. According to Medved and Wallechinsky, the immaturity and rebellion of their fellow students was a product of parental indulgence. Their moms and dads had consistently given them money, bailed them out of jail, repaired their wrecked cars, and made it possible to avoid work or study. Perhaps more importantly, their parents had failed to teach them values and ethics and beliefs on which the meaning of life is based. Well, that occurred many years ago, but I wonder, is there relevance for us today?

Tiles fall...

2004-12-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

I'm wondering if it's a sign

Either I'm getting grown up...

But nothing seems to shock me very much anymore

Jaded? Maybe, maybe not.

Or maybe Daddy's telling me something -- to wake up!

Haha.

Wat's the difference btw 2801 n 1028 on Wed Dec 1?

2004-12-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

Apparently a world of difference...

esp when u buy 4d. haha!

Too bad sis's 2811 didn't strike. :P

Help the children, help the poor

2004-12-05T18:36:00.000+08:00

www.worldonfire.ca

At peace...

2004-12-05T17:43:00.000+08:00

Listening to Hillsongs, and at peace... have always felt at peace hearing them...

1. So (Close) I believe (My favourite)
2. The Potter's Hands
3. So You Would Come
4. Holy Spirit Rain Down
5. Let Your Presence Fall
6. Making a Difference
7. Shout to the Lord
8. I Dream by Taufik Batisah, and Sylvester Sim. HAHAH!

Watching Taufik and Olinda, as they go thru weeks... all I can say is WOW. They've grown. It's a process of growth not many has the opportunity to go thru in such a short space of time... and they have indeed proved their mettle. Grateful for the change that they've went thru... I'm sure they've learnt a lot abt ppl ard them, as well they themselves. Once-in-a-lifetime experience...

But seriously what isn't "once-in-a-lifetime"...? Even things we are doing over and over again... the 1st time, is still once-in-a-lifetime, the 2nd time experience is still different. Tt's why we shld get more out of life... then simply trying to get thru... as fast as we can... things tt are unpleasant... they are prob the best learning experiences we can have, isn't it so?

Not often I'm home at this time... but I had my share of pool last nite... and attempted to walk home from Tanjong Pagar, and thinking thru, and speaking to Daddy above. But saw a group of foreigners having an argument far ahead near Arab St... decided not to put myself at risk, and hailed a cab straight away. Have things changed? Are things not as safe, or is it simply a one-off incident that I happened to witness. I'm different, walking home for example, but I'm not foolhardy.

Prayed to God during service, asking for a breakthru and freedom from the fear of lack. Hahah. Tt's also a demon tt's been dogging me for the whole of my life... when I was young I was considered born with a silver spoon... but soon that turned into bronze, then no spoon. haha. Soon, we had to depend on things ourselves... which is not exactly a bad thing. As I went home... I saw a letter from J-Team, asking for ppl to go for auditions -- well, I'm going to ask to be moulded to be all-round artiste - sing, dance, act. Yes. At least both singing and acting. And if only I could produce an album with local Hillsongs... haha. :P I want to make a difference. All the more I ask for what III WAAANNTT. All the more I force it, the more I fall, as it is not in His plans, even when I thot I COULD, it falls apart, as my focus has been incorrect.

Seriously if we think about it, having a material golden spoon is nothing compared to having a intangible golden spoon of love, support and unconditional acceptance. *Glad I could type fast... or else thots would be left behind... still remember P typing away furiously in the SB office... and I thot wow... if only I could type as fast as he does... now I can! Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that You'll soften his heart, he's feeling pressurised as ppl ard him hasn't been exactly great testimonials, jus as You've provided the sparrows in the sky, similarly Lord, remove his animosity and feelings of abandonment and hatred, change his heart. I pray Lord, I put my dear friend, P, who has taught me much, at the foot of your cross, Lord. Soften his heart. In your most precious name I ask.*

Lord, I'd like to put my Dad and Mum and grandma, grandpa... my uncle, aunt, Sonia, David... my whole family, and extended family... into your hands. I hear abt Lynette Wan's entire family being saved... which is a wonder. A miracle. I speak your Miracle to this family, Dear Lord. Nothing else I'd like more to have my family attend service, with one heart, my hubby, my kids in tow, attending Sunday school... Mummy was asking about Passion of the Christ after she watched it... Lord, uncover their eyes, and their hearts, as I proclaim that this h/h will be won for the Lord, and all idols be banished. In your most precious name I ask too. For it is freedom to act in His accord, and be free from fear. Freedom means tt. Freedom from guilt too. WWJD?

I ask for mercy for the sins I have committed... too many to mention, too shameful to mention... it's not a matter of who knows... but a matter of myself knowing. "Holy Spirit, Rain dooooowwwwnnnn..."

A still having his exams... hmm. Wondering wat to prepare for M's potluck on 18 Dec. Something refreshing... let's decide...

And as I conduct more interviews... I hear ppl in their 40s to 60s, even... looking for a job. If they are working as they are bored, I do not have a problem with tt... but they share, "I still have energy left in me, I don't mind working seven days a week, I just want to earn more for my kids..." Is that a matter of bad planning? or? Wat if something happens to them? I don't think that we shld be slogging away at that age. I asked Daddy to grant me discipline as well... and it works!!! Haven't been very interested in food already... w/o having to try TUMMYTRIM. :p E, if you are reading this, I rem u told me not to take all these... r u going to heed your own advice? :P My perennial problem: binge-eating when stressed. Scary. Very. But Daddy upstairs is changing tt! Financial discipline too! Haaallleelluuyahh.

Thank You, for keeping me grounded and sane.

I count my blessings

2004-12-02T01:32:00.000+08:00

Does hard work mean getting more? Hmm. Seems not necessarily... chafing at it...

As I interview more people, some have just so sympathetic backgrounds... and I start to think... how different am I from them? Do what I inherently possess skills or attributes that make me deserve better? Nature and nurture are both so impt... Choices and consequences too...

I count my blessings... and pray...

19th Nov 2004

2004-11-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

Strange day. Of screw-ups. 3 broken. Just realised Leonids' at 5.49am tmr -- Sat -- morning. I won't be able to stay up to watch it. And I would never forget 17 Nov 1999. When I first caught the Leonids at ECP... with my sis, and YS and her brothers. Jason and his gf (tho they are not together now)... and Jason's is in HK now.

J wanted to come with me, a yr or two ago? Anyway, can't stay up today... too tired. Had indigestion -- tummy upset -- not hungry... but craving for porridge... healthier chicken porridge. I would be touched if someone could bring me porridge... depends who tho. HEE. But tummy still not well. :((

Remember E said he knows I would bring him porridge at like 3am, if he's going to want porridge when he's sick. Well, I think it's a tiny thing to do for someone you love. But tt's in the past already. Quite amazed how completely I can let go of a relationship when it's over. Hahah.

What a day... this will go down in history.

I pray.

P's and M's Wedding nite!

2004-11-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

It is interesting, even tho I have been to quite a few weddings, every wedding would still spark off thoughts and emotions deep in me. Nothing bitter, mind you. Everything's sweet.

Not used to feeling nervous speaking! hahhah. But somehow today feels more real than the rest, maybe it's cos the groom was totally sweeeeet and brave. Sang "Fly me to the Moon" as a surprise, and waltz-ed with his wife. pretty kewl. This is when I wished I could interview them and record their thoughts, emotions, and pictures. Haha. Some sort of remnant occupational hazard?

The last time I was at Raffles the Plaza attending a wedding was with C. His friend's wedding a year back. Wasn't in quite a good stage for us then, resources-wise, unfortunately. Still, I've always thot of tt Stamford Ballroom named Sophia.

But I am dreaming of my own wedding -- Botanic, Fort Canning (with wat's tt restaurant's name) -- lawn wedding... Then probably a good many people would melt under the sun! With airy tents, mist fans... church lawn wedding. Thinking of it, but not anytime soon, I'm sure. :)

Kids brought up with Sunday schools, a God-honouring family going to church together. Bliss!

Dear Lord, be the Lord of my life, I'm issuing a blank cheque in your name, please let me be a blessing to all.

Hmm... Ad just said he's going to call me from Flo. Interesting...

It's (Hope) really *I* funny (didn't) how *screw* people (things) came *up* to (by) me *telling* to (P) ask *I* me (like) what (someone else.) my MSN nic 'heart flutters when I hear..." My cell people thot it must be a guy I'm talking about... FUNNIE! Had a good laugh when they knew wat it was.

And I do have to stop doing what I'm not supposed to. (No sins! Very hard I'm sure.. and to FORGIVE too! ) And start fulfilling more of Maslow's basic need! :P And start moving -- PILATES & YOGA GYM (biz idea?)! BLADE! JOG! DANCE! RESISTANCE TRAINING!

STUDY TOO!

Or incorporate Golf? N jus passed her lady's golf set to me -- purple! Imagine tt! My fav colour. Haha. But I've always thot of it as pretty bo liao... walk walk walk jus to hit in balls. (Drats! And burst a few blood vessels when it doesn't, or worse still, nowhere to be found... ) Prefer pool anytime, but golf's a good game for networking? (Drats! Drats!)

(1. To forgive -- receive forgiveness, so as to release forgiveness. SPEAK, PRAY, ACT on it!
2. Don't be a double-minded Christian, u are in, or u are out.)

Hmm. Just read that stressful situations make the body release cortisols, which makes it store fat! Not good at all... OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM... ... OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM... ... OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM... ...

PILATES & YOGA! BLADE! JOG! DANCE! RESISTANCE TRAINING!

SING! "But if you sing, sing
sing, sing, sing, sing", so says Travis...

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

2004-10-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

I shall fulfill my basic needs first, or else all other things will fall short.

Mirror, mirror on the wall:

It does speak the truth, as the things I draw come to pass. A simple explanation of visualisation? :)

Destination Freedom

2004-10-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

I've been in shackles for more than half my life.

I'm pursuing freedom and am looking for someone to show me or lead the way, as I would like to know the cost of freedom. Everything has a cost, isn't it so? Freedom from fear. From dread. From lack.

Not too difficult to do. :)

No one is perfect II

2004-09-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.

To add to the previous post -- I think there's always someone out there for you.

There's no right person, it seems, just someone who turns up at the seemingly right time. And clicks.

Simple, right? Hmmm.

:)

No one is perfect

2004-09-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

Nothing, and no one perfect.

Quit trying to look for one.

He doesn't exist.

:)